Really Tired

Good evening, Lovelies!

    It's been an extremely long day, even with a little nap. A very much needed one. I'm extremely happy with how it turned out; lots of friends, a slow pace (that goes with a Sunday), music, good conversation, and some delicious food! But here's the thing; it's been exhausting.

    Do you ever feel that way? Even a good day drains the life out of you??? Well I'm sure I don't need to ask, that the answer is of course (you dumb blogger). But lately I've noticed how hard it is for me to admit or accept that I am tired, especially in a social setting, and I'm trying to allow myself to be tired-- if that makes sense. To just check out, and recharge my batteries in a quiet, solitary setting if needed. Although if I'm honest, sometimes that doesn't even quite do the trick.

    That's life with a disability. Chronic pain is another issue that has recently become more pronounced for me. And I find I have to choose which activities to participate in very carefully, so I have enough energy and strength to get myself to and from, but I won't be in pieces when I get home. Then I can focus on resting my weary body or taking a mental time out with my weighted pillow:)

* Side note, if you don't have one, get a microwave pillow. They're great for treating pain, or making you feel less lonely, because there's a warm thing to hold onto when the sadness takes over. And sometimes the sadness does take over.

   Here's a link to the Amazon store where I've gotten mine. There are so many options! They have a product to suit every taste. Do check them out: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Bucky/page/7390B76A-8147-44F7-995E-27A32F83E924?lp_asin=B001IDQVPQ&ref_=ast_bln&store_ref=bl_ast_dp_brandlogo_sto

    Below I've included another reel that details some of the struggles we face. Definitely the "pushing through" is hard. I want to, so much! And sometimes I try. Today definitely counts as a day when I tried to do more than I probably should have, forcing my walker everywhere, putting on a happy face and trying to carry on an intelligent conversation over lunch...But pushing to hard can ruin me; I get really tired. Two weeks ago I overdid it on a Sunday just like this one, and it was very taxing. I ended up with painful joints and achy muscles for the next week; I mostly slept and barely ate anything; just drank Gatorade:) Just to recover. But I had told myself I was okay, that it would be fine. I wanted to have a good day in the sun at the park. Lots of people do it; why not I?

    Disability! That's why not! You'd think at this age I'd know better. But the desire to be included and fully participate in life gets me every time. I push too hard, run my feet ragged behind the walker, hurt my finger muscles gripping my walker handles too tight, the tension in my neck and shoulders increases. And I payed for it:( And that's why I need to learn what so many of us, disabled and non, need to learn. We must give ourselves grace to rest.


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