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Showing posts from 2012

Yule-tiful

Had a very nice Yule yesterday, where I did everything I could think of that would have made the celebration special for both me and Mikel. I'd been saving a thick beef sirloin steak in the freezer that I defrosted in the fridge for a few days and was perfectly ready for dinner. While I was lying in bed, having some down time and feeling rather depressed for about an hour--it came to me how I could make the steak even more special; wrap it in bacon! So for our dinner feast I had bacon-wrapped steak, mushrooms, and green beans all sauteed in the same oil as I used to cook the steak:) I outdid myself in the kitchen, and didn't even have a lot to clean up afterwards! To make it even special for my dogs, I poured a little pre-made store-bought gravy onto their dinners and wished them both "good yule." They were very happy:) Now I have another celebration to look forward to, at home. My mother's picking me up shortly and I'll be off to spend six days in the em

Keep Calm and Listen

http://youtu.be/1AkUWbQmB7I As a follow-up proof of my point, look at this musical tribute to the victims! Simple, yet heart-wrenching; "Hallelujah" makes me sob on the most benign days. Today as I watched this clip I was in pieces before the second verse. But afterwards, I felt better. A good cry and the right words--especially the right words--brings everything back into a less-painful place, it's music to my soul.

The Antidote to Pain

Most of the shock from yesterday's school massacre has worn off. Twenty small children killed along with six adults for no reason in Connecticut--I wouldn't say I'm over the pain, but I've put it into a file cabinet along with all the other causes of my pain. I'll dredge it back up some day when I need a good cry...with the way things have been going lately, I won't need to make myself cry for a while. I keep going back to the new version of "Les Miserables" that is due out on Christmas day. It looks pretty impressive, to be sure, but the main thing I think about is how timely the lyrics are, even as it's set during the French Revolution, and the story itself was written years and years ago. I never noticed this before; I always used to think it was just a story about life during a war. There's "I Dreamed a Dream," which slips neatly into our contemporary society as well as it does into the world of the musical. It's all ab

Writing About Christmas is Hard:(

Escrow is going to pay my Winter Tax Bill:) Of course my mother had told me that would happen, but it was nice to hear it confirmed by my mortgage lender. Now I can breathe! I was absolutely panicking months ago, worrying about how in the wild blue blazes I was going to come up with the same amount of money that was billed in July. Escrow is the gift that keeps on giving! In fact there are so many, many gifts that have come from out of nowhere this season. I received the "informative copy" of the actual tax bill and discovered that even if I had had to pay it this month, I would have been able to. I've rekindled a friendship with the neighbors across the street. I thought they'd isolated themselves and were avoiding me for some reason; I hadn't seen them around their house in weeks. But the other night I brought them a tin of Christmas cookies and visited with them in their warm, cozy living room that had brilliant fire. They've just been visiting family

Upon a Midnight Clear

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Back home in Grand Rapids! The Thanksgiving tradition is sufficiently honored in the home of Anderson/Cypert/Molineaux:) And on the way home, Mom and I stopped for a little more "retail therapy" to prepare for the "most important" holiday that is to come. But aren't they all important? Once we'd loaded up on lights and decorations, it was back to the house to put up the outdoor lights:) Isn't it funny how your tastes can do a complete turn around as you "grow up"? When I was younger I scoffed at the idea of big bulbs--even on outdoor lights. It was little imported Italian lights or nothing, and they must be multicolored, not white. Today is proof that I am no longer that little kid who pouts at the sight of bulky white lights strung outside her house:) I proudly display a 35 foot string of glittering white, bulky "diamond cut" lights:under the front eaves on my porch. A wreath from the local market is soon to follow, I hope

Take them down?!

I bet it's curious for some who have followed this blog to see that most of the pages describing the details of the wedding--location, baker, attendants, etc...are all still up, despite the fact that there never was a wedding. And there could never be one. Maybe it's even stranger that I haven't changed the blog title...I"m certainly no longer having a Celtic wedding, no matter how small or splendid. And even if nobody has been wondering, it has struck me every time, and I've often thought maybe I should change the title, or at least take down some pages. But everyone and every detail is still a part of my life. I still keep in touch with everyone, and the things that were going to make it special were part of me and my groom--we wanted to make it as memorable and elegant as possible. After some reflection on the fact that it was going to be on a Wednesday, and knowing that the ballroom at St. Cecelia's is a beautiful space with big windows and a gleamin

Rambling, Wondering...

Over a week of getting up early and having productive days! I hope I don't jinx it by "saying that out loud"; tomorrow is (finally) Saturday. But there are a lot of things I'd like to get done when my Mom comes to visit. For some reason it's never stuck with me when I've watched others replace my thermostat filter. I bought a new one the other day that I'm going to insist we put in my place tomorrow! But it might also rain, so we'll have to spend all of our time in doors. We usually do anyway, shopping and going out to lunch, so that won't be too hard. Today on the other hand is brilliant , and wouldn't you know I have to call Medicare? That means God knows how long on the phone, waiting and then trying to make the disembodied voices understand me. It's not always easy; they have always helped me, but sometimes I've had to be speak--er--rather deliberately to them. That's been happening more often than usual lately, and I'

Forever

President Obama is back. Many of those angry and disenchanted now were just as hopeful and ebullient as those of us who voted for him this year, four years ago! It frustrates me to no end that such a large number of people are so disappointed; what has failed? But I will not go into a political rant; that was for every day until today. All I know is I drank a little vodka last night to ease myself into sleep, woke up and my first thought when I turned on the TV was "we won , Baby!" I was so excited I almost shrieked! And maybe it is naive. Or maybe I'm being hopelessly optimistic about a future that is doomed to fail. I do not see it that way. I prefer to think good things will happen, to look at the future as if it will extend far beyond December, 2012, and hope that from here, things can only improve, now that the combat of election season is over. And why shouldn't I? Really, there is no reason to worry. When it comes down to it, America is about Americans--

My Wedding Week

What I happily called "my wedding week" this time last year is coming to an end. It's been a sometimes-miserable, sometimes-joyous, frequently-stressed-with-a-number-of-happy-moments-sprinkled-in kind of week. I was surprised and elated to discover that there exists a copy of the Deed for my house specifically denoting the transfer of home ownership to me in the event of Mikel's death. The city of Grand Rapids, who sent the letter, proceeded to tell me to buy a certified copy of the Deed, but I'm not sure I need to. I got one, obviously, when we closed on the house. Maybe there's an even more official option I could pay to have sent to me, and I gladly will, as soon as my bank account allows:) There are a number of bills due in the coming weeks that will likewise have to wait; they are staring at me from the kitchen table every moment of the day! I'm trying not to be too concerned about that though. The money will come. If not, I'll figure someth

It's a Wonderful Weekend:)

I was going to wait until Wednesday to write a big, sweeping entry about my thoughts on being a "nearly wed." But this morning it finally occurred to me that if I wait all that time, my thoughts will pile up, and I'll miss out on adding to this blog, which has really been a great experience. This weekend has been unusually busy for me-- but in a good way. Friday I surprised myself with my energy and resourcefulness, preparing for a Halloween party nearby. Starting the day before , I realized that I didn't have a hostess gift. I know the "rules" of party-going have changed, and usually people just show up , and that's more than okay. I was prepared to do that too, of course. But then I waxed nostalgic for just a minute, remembering a time when people treated being invited to some one's house as an honor , and sincerely wanted to thank them for their hospitality. With this in mind, I browsed a nearby store, and after much deliberation I finally s

Goodbye, hello

Last night I made a decision, and this morning I carried it through. Since my poor bank account is dismally low and could use a few "pennies from Heaven"-- literally --I'm taking the Bridal Gallery's generous owner up on her offer--I'm letting her keep the dress and getting my money back. The first time I slipped that dress over my head, I told myself I would feel like a legend if I wore it down the aisle. When I saw myself in it, I knew it was perfect for this wedding. The O'Rourke family are legend; their history goes back before King Arthur:) But the same magic may not be exactly present if I ever plan my wedding again. And this morning, a belated birthday gift from my mom--a tapestry emblazoned with the moon and named after one of my favorite Irish songs, Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" arrived on my doorstep. The magic is still in my life--in a different form. I had a good cry (they've become something of a morning routine, but

What Happens?

Today has been another happy and sad day. There was a time, talking to Mikel's brother, when I thought "I could burst into tears standing alone in an empty room." It wouldn't have taken  any encouragement. And often I still feel like that. It's only been about two and a half months, after all. I can't believe it myself, but the inches of time that have passed actually amount to something measurable. Something new and interesting has developed. I find myself watching movies like Titanic and My Best Friend's Wedding to make myself cry...nothing else seems to do the trick:( And since sorrow is a chest-weighing, soul-crushing kind of emotion, I want to make myself cry just to get it out of me. I fall apart in the first strains of "Nearer My God to Thee," Heaven knows. And I wonder every single time I hear the Irish woman telling her  children a bedtime story about the land of Tir Na Nog of my Mikel is there...he believed in the Irish mythology

Living in the Moment

...and the moment is good. Just finally got back from the greatest solo adventure I've probably ever had--cross country to visit relatives I'd never met in person, sustained only by the connection I would have had to them had June 30th never happened....welcomed with open arms! The all-to-short but sweet first visit was marvelous. It's like nothing I've ever experienced up in the Midwest, or as I called it in Oklahoma, "the great white North." Disneyland is right there, and the Pacific Ocean is visible out almost every window. Each day is like a fairy tale--in October you put on your shorts or a sundress that bares your knees and wait for the heat! Back home in the October morning you put on your bathrobe and slippers, and wait for the day to grow dark again:( I came home and everything still smelled the same; my quiet, dark house was waiting patiently for me. Bursting with a million memories and stories, I begin my life which now feels much richer an

Sleepy...

Gotta love Patsy Cline after a long day:) There's something about all the bebop/country/classics that makes the heart happy. Especially while I'm suffering through a really allergy-miserable day when I volunteered at our would-be wedding venue. Now I know you all just braced when you heard that I was at St. Cecelia's Music Center, but don't worry; it's such a nice little building I couldn't stay away forever. And I made a point this time of not going upstairs to the Dexter Ballroom. And to my surprise all the women there knew about me (since I've already called and canceled), and offered their kind, kind condolences. I wasn't there to wallow, anyway. Since I graduated Grand Rapids has begun this extremely fun annual city-wide art awareness program for kids in school all the way up to elderly art lovers looking for something to do, called Art Prize. Saint Cecelia's was one of the several stations for visual art throughout the city displaying p

For remembrance

It's been almost a week; I don't want to go ten days without writing; that's become something of a habit, and I need to nip that in the bud! These last few days have been especially hard for some reason. I keep remembering little things that didn't used to mean as much: the smell of the air now that Fall is finally inching toward us--particularly at night--the words my contractor said weeks ago running like a CD on repeat over and over again; "I miss the little guy." And imagining what it will be like to meet his friends and family in person, after almost 3 months to the day of talking on the phone or through text messages or Facebook...everything seems to be coming to a head. I had a nice talk last night with his brother in California. I always feel bad ending the conversation early; it's only dinnertime where he is. But for me, it's usually past my bedtime:) We talked for about a minute about how the trip will probably be one continuous (cheerfu

The Bull's Head

Last night I happened to be in town for another reason, purposely lingering until dinner time. I looked and looked for a little tavern I'd heard about, hoping for a cold beer after walking around in the 80 degree heat. After about an hour (really, I held out that long), I decided to try a wonderful, relatively small place called The Bull's Head. http://thebullsheadtavern.com The outdoor sign that jutted out above my head was a little rustic, but also kind of classy, just the outline of a the head of a bull in silver against a dark backdrop. It reminded me of the old Dublin Brazen Head Pub, or the Galway King's Head Pub. Such associations just can't be ignored:) Immediately, I was a little nervous about how much this little place would cost me; white linens on the tables, cushy faux leather benches, dark wood, a little well-stocked bar, and a swanky-yet-charming staircase that led to yet more dining space. But I told myself to relax and give it a try. I even order

Keeping Calm and Carrying on

Ten days since I last blogged? My how time flies. I've been so busy (or lethargic), everything is just a blur. Well, the good news is I've started getting into writing my story about me and Mikel...but I don't think it will be done any time soon. Maybe not even this year! We were together a year, and there is so much correspondence and material to go on. Just the journals I've kept and the memories that go along with them are a novel in themselves. Then there's the fact that writing everything; my sadness, my bewilderment, my shock, fury, disappointment and miniscule joys--is exhausting. I've hardly even begun the first chapter and it's almost more than I can bare. After every writing session I find myself needing to break for a day or two just to get my head back on straight:( But I do have a wonderful office. Or at least the makings of a wonderful office:) The floor is unfinished wood and the closet doors don't close properly. But I have the w

Our Story Continues...

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And here it is, my wedding ring:') I had planned, months ago, that this blog would end when I received this ring and said my vows. The gold band with scrolled sides and the outline of a heart encircling an engraved "o" were to be the crown I wore around my finger. An entry entitled "Crowned" was to be the end. But somehow this is not the end! This ring is the biggest promise he made--and kept--to me. It symbolizes much more to come, and a much more different life than I had planned. Whatever lies ahead for both of us, I know he will help me through it. Mikel will always, always be a part of me. And of course I didn't need a symbol of that, but now there is no denying it. My heart will hold the memories, the ring will display my heart.

Suddenly not as hard:)

Yesterday I had a revelation. Things are a lot easier for me, all of a sudden, than I thought they were two months ago. When you're hit with the death of your whole world after a quick, terrible illness, it feels like the air is rapidly being removed from your lungs. You feel like everything everywhere is collapsing in on you, and the whole world is against you. Given all of these suffocating factors, of course you're also going to feel like the simplest things are impossible, and the harder things will almost kill you. But then if you're lucky, and I guess I am, something happens. You discover friends who love you whom you've never met in person. Family will appear from out of the blue to support you and encourage you when you feel like you'd much rather join the person you've lost than go on. And all around you will appear new places for your energy and love. I thank whatever inspired me to seek another dog on the Internet just a few days after Mikel

As of now

My life-long anthem singer, the man who has unwittingly written my entire life's story in his songs, Tom Waits, sings a song with a very appropriate line for this moment, in a song called "Hold On." Possibly my favorite song of all time, it sings, "with charcoal eyes and Monroe hips, she went and took that California trip. Well the moon was gold her hair like wind, she said don't look back..." and here I am. Planning a trip to California to properly remember my own beloved with his family and friends who loved him. I'm just lucky enough to have loved him too, so now I've been adopted into his circle of distant friends and family, all of whom I can't wait to meet. I'm planning on taking the train down too, which brings even more romance to this whole affair; I always wanted to take Michael on a train for some part of our honeymoon. He'd never been on one, and I thought this was such a shame; once we wandered into a toy store and he la

The Perfect Pair

Tonight's entire dinner I owe to a little help from my friend:) Yesterday I bought some ground lamb, starving for a little something tastier than beef or chicken. And I had just finally gone to the health food store near by to get groceries. Surprisingly, the health food store is where you go for game meat in this neighborhood. Well, the only thing that came to mind to do with ground lamb was either chili or shepherd's pie, neither of which sounded very appealing in this God forsaken heat! So I grabbed one of Mikel's cookbooks that he'd had before he even met me, and found a recipe for ground lamb patties on salad. It sounded delicious, and fairly quick, so I started gathering ingredients. To my shock and delight we had almost all the Greek-inspired spices, and they were all in Mikel's spice drawer in the apartment before he met me. Cumin, paprika, mint tea (that I sprinkled on the meat), and amazingly, Montreal Steak Seasoning! As I think about it, maybe Mik

Melancholy Musings...

It's been such a long time since I updated, and I've missed a few concerned loved one's phone calls, so let me fill you all in. I'm doing better. It still hurts, and I'm still sad a lot; I seem to be stuck in a rut of not really wanting to accomplish anything. The same thing happened when my dad died; I really didn't want to succeed at anything because I couldn't share it with him. How would I know if he was proud of me? How would I know if I was doing the right things? With Mikel gone, it's very much the same; I don't have his eyes on me, shining with the pride they feel. I don't have his smile or his hugs to tell me I'm doing a good job, so I'm having a little trouble digging myself out of the hole that grief has buried me in. But I'm getting there. I have lots to do constantly, thanks to two wonderful dogs and a wonderful house that is still being worked on. The changes being made aren't for Mikel's convenience any m

Just Grateful

Every day there is something else to be thankful to Mikel for giving me. There are things he taught me, things that he paid for from his hospital bed, people who have helped me after Mikel's death that I never would have even known without him, and lessons that I've learned as a result of knowing him that have forever changed me. This week has been surprisingly busy and very fulfilling; it had to be. Tuesday after forcing myself out of the mire I'd been in for two weeks, allowing myself to wallow in the miserable knowledge that he was gone and would never be coming back, I went with our life insurance agent, a woman whose son mowed our lawn in exchange for tutoring in math and English, out to breakfast. We were at the delicious Real Food Cafe, which is the cutest little diner in the state and always busy. I forced down memories of eating there frequently with Michael, and enjoyed my favorite meal. Christine and I actually had a lot to talk about; I could have stayed th

Getting easier...

Very slowly, things are crawling into place. Life still feels precarious sometimes, and sometimes I still have to shake myself out of the shock and conviction that this should not be happening. The fact is it is happening. And it's getting easier. My would-be mother-in-law entered my home when I was at my mother's still in the throes of miserable grief, having told herself she would be doing me a favor taking away anything that reminded me of Mikel, and took everything .that she had given him over the years, including a big-screen TV, some furniture, some of our linens and bathroom stuff. Plus a computer monitor that belongs to me, she took in error. Other things she moved, so I now have to find them:) Wasn't that nice? Flash forward a week, and my computer has been restored to me. It took a lot of negotiating and pride-swallowing on my part, but I finally, finally got through to her. And meanwhile my house is filling up. My mom and I have cleaned out Salvation Army a

Telling a story, learning a new role

The "bookmarks" on my internet toolbar tell such a story. Before Mikel died, when we still thought he was going to get over the effects of the stroke, regain his ability to swallow, and he couldn't wait to eat again, I found and bookmarked a website of George Foreman grill recipes for him:) Then, when I realized the feeding tube would need to be more permanent, I privately bookmarked a website on "life after stroke", to help me deal with whatever I had to deal with. A few days later, that bookmark was gone, replaced by the website for the funeral home arranging his memorial ( www.memorialalternatives.com ) and "Deactivating, Deleting, and Memorializing Accounts" on Facebook. Nothing can happen 'til there's official notice of Michael's death, and neither can life insurance file a claim! But a death is hard hard for everyone. It forces us all to grow up and learn about things we never imagined we'd need to.

Parted

"...and just like that, [he, Mikel, anam cara, mo gar] was gone." My dear man died at 2:10 in the afternoon, Saturday June 30. He had suffered a stroke on June 18 and his poor body could not recover. After my dad died in 2007, I read everything I could find about the grieving process. I actually became kind of an authority on it; I read C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed , and wrote down my own observations on how my body handled grief. I even joined a grief counseling group at my church. I sobbed through a heart breaking scene in Ken Follet's mammoth Pillars of the Earth , during which the main character and her brother must say goodbye to their living father, and promise never to revisit him in the Mideivil jail. Everything was cathartic and wonderfully helpful. I really thought I had learned something. But this grief still feels entirely foreign. I find myself wondering if it will ever lessen, whether my heart will ever stop hurting. Mornings are the hardest. Th

Faith

It's becoming harder not to think about what I've always had faith in. The only clearer indicator would be if moonlight flooded the hospital room every night, as God has always been represented by moonlight to me. And when I was very sick in the hospital with shunt malfunctions or encephalitus, somehow my faith wrapped me in a warm, safe cucoon. Just like right after the death of my father, at the darkest points in my life, at the saddest and loneliest moments, I feel faith pulling me back. However much I've tried to find other answers to the cosmic questions, it's impossible to ignore the feeling of being protected, a sense that although things may be terrible and tragic for a while, eventually they will turn out even better than they were before. This ecperience will change us. It will make us stronger as individuals and as a couple. He'll know he can rely on me, and I'll be rewarded for loving him so much-- with an unwavering devotion. For making a lif

Update on Us

This morning I arrived at the hhospital before 8:00 after spending the night at home, marveling at the transformation since my mother had come and cleaned and organized like banshhee, indulging in a soak in my wonderful bathtub, and a fitfull night's sleep. Coming into the room I asked Mikel how he was doing, and he smiled; "I survived the nighht without you." So we're surviving. This is incredibly difficult, but I'm sure there must be a reason. Maybe he was juust tryng to do so much, trying to accomplish too much, and Fate had to step in and slow him down because he's supposed to stay with me for a long time:) That's what I'd like to believe. Meanwhile I'm finding ways to make myself useful to him, something I don't always remember being able to do when we were just living at home. He was always the go-getter who tried to be productive every day; I often felt like I was a lazy homebody, 'cause I honestly didn't always feel like

Smart and strong

I sit awake after four hours of sleep (my new average) at Spectrum Butterworth hospital. My poor, sweet, smart, wonderful Michael has been here since shortly after my last entry, Tuesday. He awoke from a nap in our home unable to swallow and with numbness in the left side of his face.That seems like a lifetime ago. We spent six hours in the ER, five of them in the brilliantly illuminated hallway. I stole away to the waiting room a couple times to clear my head; I've never seen it so busy. They had to call people's names like at a regular doctor's office. The hallways were so conjested with stretchers and supply carts I could barely snake my way through-- and I had jumped into the ambulance without my walker! He was finally admitted to a tiny little room that is packed with stuff-- his, mine and the hospital's all crammed into every available crevice. There's about a two foot path around his bed for medical staff to maneuver, and it seems good enough. Suddenly

News from the BEST little big hotel in GR:)

We've got a discounted rate on a block of rooms at the gorgeous Amway Grand Plaza Hotel right in the heart of down town Grand Rapids, and only a stone's throw away from the wedding venue, St. Cecelia's Music Center:) For anyone who might be interested, the woman to speak to is Grace Hill. Just tell her you're part of the Cypert-O'Rourke wedding, and I'm sure she'll take good care of you. I traded emails with Ms. Hill for several hours today, and she was more than generous. To be sure, these beautiful rooms are still a little bit on the pricey side, but as some one who's stayed there before, I can assure you it's well worth it. Not to mention, as Michael pointed out, the rate at which these rooms are being offered puts them right in line with the cheaper options. The difference becomes how close you will be to the action!

Pre-Wedding Jitters-- of a different kind:)

Getting anxious! I know it's still four months away; we've got tbe whole miserably hot, humid summer to endure before we even have time to think about a wedding! Still, I'd love to really know exactly how many people will be joining me and Michael, and how many special little touches I can add to make the uniique event even more special for all the people who make the effort to come. We just spoke to the caterer again, and he gave us a rough, very reasonable estimate on what the food will cost. The bakery has known for some time just to "aim high" and however many people show up to eat cake will be well taken care of! But there's still a million tiny details thhat come to my head; place settings-- how many per table? They cani seat eight people, but won't the party look awfully small if a really small number come, and everybody's scrunched into only a few tables? What if we actually have a bigger number come, against expectations; how should we

A Treat for Those Who Read My Blog:)

You've all been so wonderfully supportive and understanding, we've decided we're going to do something for you. Until now, unofficially we have been kicking around the idea of making our wedding "dry," as alcohol free as Kentucky on Sunday. Even as understanding as our wonderful attendees (as yet an undetermined number) have been online, I knew that having nothing for our guests to celebrate with in person would be pushing it. SO WE'RE HAVING AN OPEN BAR! The details of exactly what will be available during dinner are not yet decided, but it's one of the first things on my list for the upcoming week. This is our treat for all you who really read my blog; you get to know before anyone else that you will not be missing your slight wedding buzz on our special day:)

Big News!

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Here is all the information about the bridesmaid dresses. This is the style: Morilee Style: 20201 Color Truffle. They come strapless with spagetti straps to be sewn in, and also come with a matching shawl. Notice she has her hand in one of the in-seam pockets, which are deep and wonderful and will hold you phone. This is the color:  (It's called truffle) The fabric is taffeta. But it's not the noisy kind, it has a really nice feel-- Everyone will need to go to a bridal store or seamstress and get your measurments.  There are places you can order online, with some discounted prices, like: VictoriasBridalCouture.com but remember they take up to 13 weeks to deliver! Thank you very much. PS Bridal has it for $136 in truffle, and fast shipping and no tax! Reply Reply to all Forward    

A Cheerful Flame

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Isn't it wonderful to be vindicated? To have even a small suspicion confirmed? Well tonight I finished a book that confirmed what I have long suspected; living with some one missig one sense not only sharpens theirs, but yours as well. Part of the clarity in my left ear suffered from music cranked up way too loud when I was an angsty teenager, trying to drown out my inner demons. But in my right ear, it seems everything is sharper and clearer--not just clearer than Michael's, but clearer than I even thought:) It seems I am, for lack of a better phrase, "hearing for two." The book that taught me such thigs are possible is called The Lantern , by Deborah Lawerenson, and it's a fun little read. I enjoy novels that take me away to a different world, and this semi-fictional novel does that marvelously, back to the Provence region of France in the early-mid 20th Century, telling the life story of a blind woman who found her calling creating perfumes. Her sense of

Riders on the Storm

Well, we signed with the DJ finally on Friday. He understood our "Old Celtic" theme, and appreciated our reasons for placing the date on a Wednesday, and he wasn't phased by the fact that we chose "Halloween." Once we explained that the date has nothing to do with Halloween, of course:) We came back from bringing our wedding closer to reality and beauty and the AC was completely out, as it had always  been since we moved in. We hadn't noticed yet, of course, but  now it had reached a crisis. Michael's heart started beating very fast, pounding out of his chest, and I was absolutely terrified. Long story short, crisis managed.  One chamber of Michael's heart had "gone rogue" so to speak and gone into a rhythm of its own choosing, which I'm guessing is why we both could feel it, but Michael was responsive and almost cheerful the whole time. One of the parts I loved about his profile on the dating website was that he seemed to have the

The band plays on...

Meeting with a DJ later today, though not entirely sure when. Those musicians! They run on interesting hours. We've become well acquainted with this facet of their existance sheltering Michael's aide, who among many other things performs every weekend as the lead singer for a local band. They're out every weekend, performing all over the state 'til all hours:) My fiance and I have never been bothered by her comings and goings. Fortunately some brilliant architect from years ago decided to put a door between the kitchen and the back stairs, rendering the footsteps of those who trudge in nearly inaudible to those peacefully asleep at the other end of the house. As fas as how long we will have a DJ for on the night of our splendid affair, I'm really torn. We already have some live music that will provide lovely entertainment during the ceremony and part of the reception, but I really think at some point we should add some recorded music; while it doesn't mean

Sugar and Spice on a dreamy Fall Night

Hello! You can't imagine the busy-ness factor around here, nor the stress and the constant whirring of a brain trying to deal with the  infintesimal minutia of planning a wedding and major construction while trying not to haul off and commit atrocities;) It's hard to remember to eat, let alone contribute to my splendid blog. Thankfully, every once in a while there are quiet moments when my fiance and I just drift into different parts of the house to do our own thing, and this allows me the peace of mind to finally drift onto wedding topics. My favorite thing. The best thing is when we are able to decide on something together, and accomplish it with one deft stroke and a deep sigh. Today, it was wedding cake flavors and shape. I'm going to selfishly hide the details so there will be surprise at the reception. But just to tease you I will say that my colors of green and brown (honoring the fact that we "brought each other to life" so to speak) are well repres

When the Present and Future Unite

It's an incredible thing, being here at the Barnes & Noble in Rivertown Crossings mall, writing. Writing has always been as easy to me as breathing. In childhood, in adolescence, all through my twenties, up to present day—writing was my second skin. The world is going on around me; the cappuccino machine is grinding away, old-time Lionel Richie is piping through the speakers, and the usual bibliophiles' chatter joins it, but writing blocks it all out. It's the one and only constant delight I have enjoyed my entire life, giving me an escape from chaos and routine. Weirdly, this joins the new joy of writing on my own new laptop, purchased with my future husband, a million miles from the New Jersey mountain town I grew up in. This brings to life the saying that “life begins outside your comfort zone”; my comfort zone as I knew it nearly a year ago has been completely replaced; childhood and youth—even unto almost my thirties, was wonderful. I've had the most

Racing Horses, Reminisces

Well, it's been so long! Because I am back to my life. Alger Heights has embraced me and mine once again, and construction on our home continues--looking amazing:) Meanwhile I am teaching myself to be a very good cook, and to clean house like the houusewives of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl. Every night I mop the floors of the back of the house; it has gone from four smaller rooms to a palacial bedroom and bathroom with a small office! It's going to be wonderful. The two stall garage that is largely useless to us has become a cozy and beautiful oasis; the wooden frame of a double jacuzzi with room for a sauna! Then of course there's still one stall to protect the cars of future guests (we can't wait to have you all!) Tonight before I fill the bucket with water once again for a nightly sponging, I had to write and gloat about the wonderful thick, tasty burgers I made with a cookbook by Rachel Ray-- Just in Time . I wanted to celebrate my first time watching the Kentucky De

Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream...

Hello loyal readers! I come to you from my cousin's small but very impressive, beautifully run (as it would have to be, since he's the general manager) Courtyard by Marriott hotel in Benton Harbor, Michigan:) We're on our little vacation a la Extreme Makeover: Home Edition , keeping our distance from the remodeling of our home, and we're enjoying it:) Comfortable, amazingly friendly, this town is surprising me after less than a year away! Speaking of comfortable, I slept beautifully last night and had a plethora of very good dreams. One of the only ones I remember was about the renovations. The size of the rooms in our home seemed to have quadrupled, and everything from floor to ceiling was covered in white sheets. It reminded me even in the dream of the scene in ET: The Extraterrestrial when government scientists take over Elliot's home and everything is covered in plastic sheeting. Weird. And I think in my dream the floor even shook like the plastic walls

First credit card, first purchase:)

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Hey! Such an exciting day:) My mother and grandmother came to town earlier to take us out to lunch, after which they took my little dog Mary with them, so she'd be out of the construction worker's way while they tear apart and reassemble the back end of our house this coming week:) When I got home, the first credit card I've ever had in my name was waiting for me! I have to admit this was a little frightening. I've avoided credit cards all my life, afraid of unnamed horrors in my own mind that would ultimately lead to my imprisonment:) Silly, yes, but this is how "financially savvy" I can be. Mikel walked me through the process of charging my first ever purchase, an addition to the home I'm actually really excited about--these tumblers! They are almost exactly like a very pretty set my grandmother has in blue , which I guess confirms that I'm actually a grand dame in a 30-year-old's body! But hey, I think they're pretty, and now I'll