Broken Lives Matter

Merry Christmas, Lovelies! Please pay no mind to the link I posted (or the meme, if it ever appears); it's further evidence of my technological shortcomings:) That is, I did not mean to share it on this blog! You all know I'm a loyal Christian, but I don't intend to make this blog a platform for evangelism! There are plenty of other opportunities for that in this broken world, particularly these days. And speaking of "these days"--I'm writing to you on an off day because, #1, in my brilliantly scattered brain, writing a meaningful blog that others might enjoy keeps being shuffled to the back of the line of things on my plate during this holiday season, and #2, I don't want to miss my weekly opportunity to speak out, and I believe I just might, if I wait any longer this week. Besides, I've just come from church, and the time I spend in that sanctuary of peace (for me) invariably inspires--so afterwards is an ideal time to spread my own message! T

The bus line. What can I say? It only goes just so far:( Then non-drivers have to do some fancy maneuvering to create a back up plan that will take them where they need to go! Especially if you prefer a flip phone and have not given in to the world wide craze of Ubers and Lyfts. But thankfully, in this season of gratitude, there are still cabs in the city. Yes, Amelia, there IS a Santa Claus:) Or at least somebody who watches over me and makes sure I'm doing okay. Coming home from my "holiday" frivolity, it was dark and cool, though not icy cold thank God, and not snowing like a thick, heavy, endless lace curtain was continuously being dropped over everything-as in past years. But I had just spent a long evening on the train, and I was in no mood to walk myself to my apartment, which I could possibly have done, in the day time. Hark the Herald cab company! I've had the number programmed into my phone for the longest time, and with one call, they were at the train s

I almost forgot again! Shame on me. But you know, for a change it's been a good day:) All week I've been suffering from pretty intense post-adventure depression, just wandering around my little apartment, not wanting to participate in anything, scoffing at the Christmas commercials on TV, wishing I was still surrounded by family...or at least that I still had things I HAD to get done that day, as opposed to only things I could easily put off until tomorrow. This can be just as disabling as any physical impairment! Like one of my good friends from church and other groups always reminds me--"not all disabilities are visible." Well there you are, and one of the major problems with society. We have to flash our disabilities in front of people in order for them to get the attention they deserve, yet it's the LAST thing we want to do! What about getting jobs? I've all but given up on that possibility, thanks to the necessity of my walker and the red flag it repres

Getting out of town for a little bit! My train leaves WELL before the sun comes up tomorrow, and then I hear it's supposed to rain all weekend:( Boo. Well fortunately I'll be spending most of the time in a barrier-free, mostly-accessible hotel thanks to the generosity of family and strangers, so I'm happy:) This entry is a bit late today, it's true, but if it's any consolation, I had an anxious feeling in my stomach this afternoon! Like my subconscious mind KNEW I should be blogging, but my conscious mind just hadn't caught up yet. So I'm writing from the library basement again; they have the printer I needed to get my ticket, and they too are barrier free and even MORE accessible than the hotel:) So of course I'm here, and of course I don't mind that I had to walk here from my place; the fresh air was very nice after a whole day inside doing last minute things before travel. And now a word on public travel. As much as I've complained about i

Happy Early Thanksgiving, Lovelies! Since I've started writing only on Thursdays, but tomorrow is a holiday, I'm treating us all to an early entry to make the separation easier:) Tonight the concept of inclusion has come to mind. And actually, of course, it's not JUST tonight; it's all the time. Any time I see evidence of somebody with mental or physical challenges being passed over, as I was, and continue to be. Because of my misadventures in job application, I've found that it's not only unfair to expect EMPLOYERS to hire somebody over-qualified and under-experienced, who is also limited in physical abilities on the job. It is also unfair to expect MYSELF to meet the demands of any kind of position that would require a lot of physical activity and/or labor--even if it's just being on my feet all day; my body is simply unable to safely sustain that kind of work. So..as a consequence I'm left out of the workaday world:( And I am left out of the e

Lately it has become an oft-echoed sentiment: "So Happy It's Thursday!" with the capitalized initials spelling a word I simply will not declare on this blog. But today I am one of those who happily shouts it. My computer was brought back from the (for all intents and purposes) dead Tuesday, and today I had an appointment with "Prosthetics and Orthotics" that has left me positively buoyant:) For one thing, it was earlier than I'm usually up and about, meaning I got back to my place pretty early, and with plenty of time to continue my original plan for the day, with absolutely no interference from an "AFO" (ankle-foot othosis/leg brace to supposedly correct my supposedly incorrect walking stride). I had a surprisingly lengthy consultation with one of the orthotics specialists, trying on one of the kinds of AFOs that the physical therapists prescribed, and walking around in it to see how it suited me. Which--not surprisingly--was not very well at

My computer is going to be picked up at "repaired"--if possible--on Tuesday. I finally bit the bullet and made the call yesterday, foregoing the free walk-in that would have come with two bus rides, in favor of not having to go anywhere in the Winter Weather that's forecast for my area from now until at least the middle of next week. So we'll see how that goes. I have to tell you, I am quite dismayed by how the recent news--showing an unmitigated disrespect for human life--bodes for the disabled community in these coldest, hardest months of the year:( In fact the weather doesn't seem to be providing ANY insulation from malice. It used to be that during the winter we could all rest at least a little bit easy, knowing that a fair number of would-be law-breakers would opt to stay home in the warmth and not participate in any nonsense while there was ice and snow. Now, they're just moving their operations to the warmer climes! A mass shooting at a synagogue in P

It's been so long; I missed writing! Alas, I haven't gotten around to getting my computer issues resolved yet:( It involves me taking one bus to the transit center then another bus from there, computer in tow and I'm not looking forward to it! Especially not since I rode the City bus for the first time in a long time today, and while the experience was hardly any worse than it usually is, it wasn't..pleasant. And just an aside--NOBODY likes it. Some people might think those who ride it do so because they prefer it--NOPE! It's just a means to an end. I avoid it if there's any way I possibly can. Not having a computer at my convenience has kind of depressed me, I guess. I've spent much of the last two weeks on the couch watching Netflix. And I'm writing this entry in the public library's bank of computers which is also an experience I try not to have too often. I love having the option (one librarian responded to my saying this out loud with 'we

Hello! Just to let you know, my computer had been giving me many problems, and I thought I was clever enough to solve them on my own. Turns out I most certainly am NOT tech savvy in that way, so the blog is going to have to be on the back burner for the foreseeable future. When I DO get things sorted out again, I'm thinking about a "sea change" in terms of brokenlivesmatter. Although I've gotten lots of positive feedback and comments from supportive friends about every single little blurb I put up, I'm going to try a little experiment and only update on Thursdays from then on. Of course when my computer is repaired or replaced, I will remind everybody of the program change. But consider this a pre-change notice:) This blog will soon be just on Thursdays, and until then, the blog will be down while I get the computer looked at. Thanks everybody for your understanding and continued support! Amelia

The issue of being stared at is on my mind. Twice today, in a relatively short period of time, I encountered young people who didn't seem to know how to speak to me. I wasn't speaking any differently than I would to anybody else. But they had a look that clearly (I felt) communicated that they were uncomfortable being addressed BY me-- kind of like a deer in the headlights. Both of these people were younger than I, probably by a decent margin. But I really don't see how that excuses them from "social grace class", so to speak. I mean, once upon a time it was stressed CONTINUOUSLY by guiding adults that it is rude to stare. And mumbling something in response to a question is not the way any young person should be taught to carry himself. I use the masculine pronoun here, but I was taught (apparently the '80s are the Dark Ages now, by comparison to this generation) that "he" is acceptable as a reference to either gender. I don't think it's

Maybe for my birthday DAY, I'll treat myself to this: https://twitter.com/DisVisibility/status/1048184297490763776

I just want to thank the friends and family who have donated to my birthday fundraiser! For those not on Facebook or who just haven't seen it, for my birthday this year I've started a fundraiser for the Hydrocephalus Association, and the results have been wonderful:) We've far exceeded my (intentionally low-balled) original goal, and there are still two weeks! I'm very proud of it, and it has taught me a lot about human nature, specifically among those in my town. People WANT to be generous and giving if they can, in whatever way they can. The problem is that of course, especially for things like Hydrocephalus, a condition few have heard of and few fully understand, THEY DON'T KNOW HOW! But given the opportunity and a little publicity, plus the advantage of knowing me in real life...look at the response! It's such a shame to me that just because people don't see enough ads for some specific disease or disorder, their dollars don't go there. I can'

Hello Lovelies! Had my first physical therapy session yesterday, and I'm very excited about the way it went. The only thing was that the appointment was both emotionally tiring as WELL as physically taxing (I hope I'm not the only one who's felt this way), so rather than dutifully update my readers on how things are in my world yesterday--I took an epic nap. Back on track today though! The exercises the therapist gave me are just tiring enough, though not too much so. And after I do them, my ankles feel more "stretched out" and flexible, which was one of the goals I set during my initial visit! Oh those Mary Free Bed (different-sounding name, excellent facility) doctors:) I'm quite encouraged by yesterday's visit that I'll actually achieve lasting results out of this truncated version of the original several week prescription. And THAT, my friends, is thrilling:) And at first, let me tell you that I surely did not feel like I even deserved to be

Here's a link to another blog that I thought many of my readers might enjoy! https://nicoleslearninglab.blogspot.com/2018/07/childrens-books-that-include-characters.html?m=1

Hello Lovelies! So, unfortunately it's not "enabled" for sharing, but I just saw an article on Facebook from FEMPOSITIVE.com that REALLY got my attention. And it got me thinking. Here's the thing: men need changing tables in their public bathrooms. The article tagline (on RoleReboot's Facebook page) was the quote from one man they interviewed, "It's like we don't exist." Hallelujah! Exactly! And remember my earlier post, "What the Big Stall is For"? Well this would make things SO much easier for everyone! Not only would there be an option of using the "big stall" in public bathrooms to change babies out of the way of the general bathroom traffic, it wouldn't be stigmatized as JUST a "woman's job" any more. And the big stall just might be taken more seriously. One of the main problems with the use of the accessible stall in public bathrooms has always been that the Abled thought it was for them. Or they

Hello! Today's excitement was trying the free Dash bus service, kind of a "baby" of the Rapid City bus service:) I enjoyed it thoroughly! The seats are squishier (for now), the ride is faster, and you don't need to freak out about how many stops there are before you get off, as I too often do with the actual bus. Best of ALL, there's a stop just steps from my place, and it just traverses the city; it doesn't go all over town. AND, I ended up at Bridge Street Market, which is the much-anticipated version of Meijer that came "downtown" that everybody was SO excited about a year or so ago. And it lives up to the hype, let me tell you! The first time I explored this small version of a super-grocery, I couldn't find an "accessible" entrance. On my own, I was freer to find the ramps and easy turns that led exactly where I wanted to go. And I've learned some things: 1.) Always ask the DASH bus driver where the bus stop will be on you

Spent a lot of time at church today, of course. It's Sunday! Some people would agree with me that Sunday's an obvious day to spend at church. But one reason was to meet with an "ideas committee"--as opposed to um...a conventional committee?...that comes up with ideas for how to improve the lives of disabled congregants. It was a great meeting! I'm proud to be part of the committee, and proud to defer ideas to my OTHER committee within the church. And it's been a wonderful day with the community too; although there WAS another person stretched out on the sidewalk almost as if he owned the street. All I felt was a little guilty to be walking past them to my home. I was so happy with the community today; awash in a local art fest, known as Art Prize, where entrants display their art entries on the street, out among the people, in the glorious sunshine and cool (finally) weather for perusal before voting. I am happy with the yearly (hence forth bi-annually) infl

The question of food allergies, and whether or not they could be considered a disability, has been heavy on my mind today. I talk about my own atmospheric allergies quite a bit on this blog; does that mean I'm discounting those who can't eat certain foods? Whether or not I am intentionally or subconsciously trying to set myself apart from food allergy sufferers, I DO personally believe that having an allergy to food is a disability. It reminds me of the documentary series "Afflicted", currently on Netflix. The program follows seven people with chronic illnesses that are difficult to diagnose--and while most food allergies CAN be diagnosed, one line from the teaser trailer of this show stands out in my mind as relevant: "It's like being allergic to life." That must be something like how it feels to go through life with food allergies. You have to ask "does this have nuts in it?" or request "no eggs" for EVERYTHING. When's the las

Just read this article by a woman I follow on a social networking site, and it reminded me of an ongoing struggle of the Disabled: we don't just fight stigma of HAVING a disability, but also the idea that the things that make our lives easier, make us less than everyone else. AND that's considered okay!:( It is NOT okay. Things that make our lives easier or better than yours make us uniquely able. https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2018/9/20/17791354/products-people-disabilities-sock-slider-banana-slicer-lazy

Best thing I've seen all day. And I've seen a lot of wonderful dogs today:)

I freakin' love this! What I wouldn't have done, back in the day, to have had somebody not afraid to dance with me...:)

Just a quick note: I've felt pretty safe in my little corner of the world since I moved here. Tonight it got very dark very quickly, and I'd just come from a church committee meeting where we discussed safety precautions. In particular we discussed how many MORE "shady characters" there have been swarming around the church lately. My poor church is under siege! You'd think, to hear them tell it. I was so spooked that for the first time ever, I asked a member of the church's outdoor security team to walk me the two or three blocks home:( Then as I got my key out and opened the accessibility door, two guys passed me and one asked me kindly how I was doing! I felt the fist around my heart, telling me to hurry up and get inside, release completely, and I felt safe again. This neighborhood NEVER ceases to amaze me. As "vulnerable times two"--being a woman with a walker--when my head is clear of the alarmists' concerns and I just let what will be,

Scheduled my intense PT sessions, every other week until well into the Fall, then went to church to volunteer...only to discover I was crashing a funeral!:( Me in a red sun dress; sweltering in the heat. Sheesh! But it's not like I was in among the mourners; I was working in the narthex outside of the sanctuary where the funeral was, so nobody saw me. Plus, since I didn't DARE be seen by everyone in black, grieving the loss of their beloved family member on this hotter-than-can-be-described day, I rushed through my work like the building was on fire! I was secretly delighted to be done so quickly; I practically skipped home (as much as I could), and took advantage of the air conditioning that surrounds me:) Come to think of it, I should have known something was "up" at church the moment I went in. A large amount of cars in the parking lot isn't always the best sign that something's going on; this being a busy area and my church being a busy one, it's n

Good Evening! Today's big adventure was a very short ride and a thorough examination at a nearby physical therapy facility. I told the therapist that I wanted a more intensive, practical, "refresher" on what I've already learned, 'cause honestly, NOTHING in the world of PT surprises me any more. Not maneuvers they could show me in the therapy room, and definitely not anything they could show me to do at home. Luckily, although today was her last day and I'll most like never see that doctor again, she was exactly on the same page with me, and seemed to almost adjust what she put in her evaluation exercises to get a better understanding of my needs, in order to leave behind a more informative report for the NEXT physical therapist I see. This helped me a lot, since I really had no interest in enduring the 12 weeks of PT prescribed by my general care physician, and am much happier with the idea of cutting that time into a more intensive, bigger bang for my b

Tried a new grocery store! And I was VERY pleasantly surprised. It's not one of those enormous box super grocery stores with a million billion varieties and quantities of the same thing. BUT, they do have just the right amount of variety to keep the discerning shopper (particularly one on a fixed income) very happy! I first got word that a new "Meijer" was coming to my area last year, and imagined another mile square, can't-find-anything-because-it's-surrounded-by-everything kind of nightmare monstrosity that is, frankly, everywhere in Grand Rapids. And that's where Shipt comes in very handy...for when I want groceries but refuse to trek a mile and a half through God knows how many different items I DON'T need--just for bread. And I'll be back to the Bridge Street Market! It's an ideal place for a single lady in the city to get her sustenance. Not so much for one with a disability--no accessible entrance on the outside except MAYBE through t

I don't flatter myself that one little entry in one little blog is going to make any difference. But since I've received such positive feedback about this blog, and about speaking my mind...here I go again! Saturday I had to run a few errands in preparation for a swanky fundraiser at the UICA; it's their biggest all year so there is a lot of hype around it and it's always an amazing time. I myself have gone two years in a row! But back to the errands. One was to go to the library and print out another copy of my ticket, since the one I'd just printed got destroyed, in my walker, and I don't have a printer at home. It's been my experience that printer's are not reliable enough to use up more of my tiny apartment's valuable space to keep one around! So I went, and noticed another thing about consideration of the Disabled that doesn't occur to people: blocking the sidewalks. There's a long, sloping ramp to the front door that's a wond

Here at the library to print something, and sharing a computer station with three other people. Two of those three have wheelchairs! And we're at the very first table in the bank of several, which I think makes a statement. Get out of our way; we deserve the first/most accessible computers JUST as much as you do! It's a far cry from the world outside. where everybody uses the ramps and blocks the sidewalks as if it's more for them than for us. As if WE don't need extra consideration. When that's pretty much our defining characteristic. Also, the library entrance doors are not ADA width--wide enough to allow a wheelchair or a walker access--unless you open both, which is why there is a "Disabled" button that flings both of them wide and holds them open for you. But Ableds are never able to hold both doors, understandably, so they just hold the one and look surprised when I push the button anyway, telling them "thanks anyway" as I walk past. Is

I was totally "Amy" today. Actually, I was Amy for the first few decades of my life! And today I told a sweet--but perhaps a little damaged--street person who called to me loudly then engaged me in conversation, that I go by that name. Which I no longer do. But one must never be too trusting, must one?

Those who would kneel for the National Anthem should REALLY, I think, consider those denied the privilege of control over their legs.

Visiting the rolling hills and fresh-smelling air of Fennville today was wonderful. For being out in the middle of nowhere, the restaurant and most of the shops were remarkably accessible! I guess we CAN "have nice things", even out in nature. Then I came home and found this on my news feed, and it made me oh so sad. However, I'm buoyed by Elizabeth Warren's attention to the issue; she's a Titan! And as some one coming at life with two disadvantages: being disabled AND a woman, I am so disappointed that this kind of "back door Ableism" still exists quietly within our government, making it almost impossible for any disabled adults to make life worth living on our own. And I wonder, if I HAD been hired, would I have had to "pull a 14C" and demand equal payment? Food for thought.

I found this simple and to the point but also powerful, this morning. As I struggle a bit with the "Green Monster" of depression/negativity in the wake of disappointment, this meme reminds me to keep my head up. It's not so bad.

Well, my life hasn't changed. Unless there was some miscommunication between me and the interviewers--in which case it would be "on them" to keep calling me UNTIL we got in touch--no new job for me:( Even so, I called THEM today, on the advice of a newish friend, and left a message with one of the interviewers to let me know either way. No word! So I guess that means there's still a chance? But I'm not going to sit by the phone and wait forever. I told her to call my cell phone, and I've made plans to be out tomorrow and Friday. It's a let down, and I will be disappointed with myself for not "nailing it"--for a few days. But there are so many positives! I learned how to walk to the place I would love to work, I learned how NOT to interview, I brushed up on my cover letter and resume skills, found several great new places down town to hang out, and best of all, by the grace of God, I am financially "okay" even without this job that I w

I've seen this a million times, so I assume we ALL have. But it's just so adorable...

It's quite warm today. As it is every day:( This summer seems endless. Of course winter does too, around March when everything lingers. The snow and ice seem to just circle the block in February, then hit us again in March like they were just off getting supplies:( That doesn't mean I have to like it; this eternal struggle against allergies and the heat and never being able to sleep with my window open...I am so ready for it to be over. Lately it's been even more interesting, with my muscles and joints constantly protesting the "rain" that is allegedly "coming." Most of the time it never does rain, I just suffer for what my body thinks is going to happen! And I've started arguing with myself: should I call my potential employer and ASK if I'm hired? Just to put myself out of my misery? Or is that terribly bad form, and I should just wait 'til tomorrow, when supposedly I will hear from THEM either way? Ah restlessness:( How you love to

Just ran into a neighbor and partner who are both pretty different. I've known and liked them since I moved in, but I'm pretty aware that they don't strike others as a "traditional" couple. But I've never given it much thought. They're just my neighbors. And they'll probably be in this building longer than I! But there are those who can't handle "different." Especially in an area of the world that tends to be pretty homogenous and conservative, there are always the bad apples. Somebody acted out against my neighbor, calling him names; and I caught him coming into the building RIGHT after the incident. His silent but equally kind boyfriend rode up on the elevator with us, and at their floor my neighbor held the door and told me how much he appreciated that I've always been nice to him. At the time of course I made light of it, and just told him "I try!" And put it into the back of my mind. It's had time to stew in

Another video popped up on my FB feed that made me smile. I guess I just like to believe there's some one out there who loves somebody disabled THAT MUCH:)

What a little sweetie. What an attitude!

Been a few days since I posted, and I feel bad:( Though I had hoped I'd be able to give you all good news (and boast a little) about my job, apparently they're not done with interviews so, we'll have to wait 'til after the THREE DAY WEEKEND!!! I'm so looking forward to this weekend, can you tell? No big plans or anything, but "rest without guilt" time, so I can't wait. What I mean when I say "rest without guilt" is that in this society, if you spend too much time in your pajamas for no reason, you are considered lazy. And society looks down on and devalues your existence! It doesn't matter what I endured to get where I am or what I have; some people still treat me like I don't deserve it. At least that's been my experience. Even having a blog I updated daily didn't quiet the self-shaming voices in my head telling me "you could be so much more..." Hence my tenuous return to the working world. Thanks to a few much

Well, I think I've lost the Paratransit ID that I JUST renewed at the end of July:( This is the magical pass that I flash at City bus drivers that allows me to ride without charge! So disappointed with myself that I lost it. But I figure, the last time I used it had to have Tuesday, when I was riding the bus every which way and running tons of errands. Hard to keep up with everything you're juggling under those circumstances! It probably slipped out of the sleeve when I was sitting down and folding up my walker while trying to keep an eye on my purchases and my purse on the bus, while simultaneously trying to have manners and keep the aisle clear. At least it wasn't my wallet though. So of course, I forgive myself. Life goes on! Thank God it's not an expensive replacement. My "punishment" will be going where all the busses congregate and all the city's transportation needs are met, standing for another ID photo, something I NEVER look forward to. But aft

Last night we had an amazing rain storm:) Finally. It's been at LEAST two weeks since we had any rain at all, and ALL summer since we've had a huge thunderstorm. Today is not going to be any cooler thanks to it; the high is still up near 90. But I've got plans to visit with a friend later, so I'm happy even though it is, as some members of my family would say, "hawt." Very, very hot indeed:) But I'm just happy my computer works! It spent all day in limbo, "resting" 'cause I think I've been on it way too often for way too long. It just got "overwhelmed." And it's happened before. Sigh...technology. But I've started doing stretches 2-3 times a day. I rest my feet on the window ledge beside my bed and lean across one leg at a time for a minute thirty seconds. It helps with the tightness in my tendons, which is heightened whenever there's rain. I think it might also be helping with that constant foot dragging that I

I did some Google sleuthing (I call it bullet biting when I Google an ailment), and turns out the very annoying pain that is also very painful, but seems to come from nowhere and nothing on my left foot MIGHT be a Morton's Neuroma! Yep; they have a name for it. A heretofore "old lady" name I never would have thought would befall ME, but: -- The pain centralized on the pad of the foot between my third and fourth toes. -- It's a pinched nerve, which WebMD just calls a build-up of tissue around the nerves, which is EXACTLY what I'm feeling; not a wart or a corn or anything like that. -- It's right at the base of a toe I have that (after years of walking way up on my toes and wearing ill-fitting shoes) is curled like a freakin' Cheeto, which I have also learned through research is called a "hammer toe." Of course I'd heard the name, but until now I've never known what it was. Glad I finally do. -- WebMD also says that hammer toes can LEA

Amazing little video:) And I agree wholeheartedly with Sarah's final sentiment! I've ALWAYS been a little different, like Miss Adaera, and we've both somehow managed to have QUITE amazing lives!

Quite an amazing thing, huh? I'm amazed and delighted for these guys; to paraphrase "The Gospel According to the Son" by Norman Mailer, and the Bible: 'they're here not only so that the blind can see, but to teach those who thought they could see that they are blind'

Looking forward to the movie "date" I'm taking myself out on in a few hours! The rain isn't due here until 4 AM tomorrow morning; I figure I'll be fine walking to and from the theater. I'll be happy to do a little working out first, stretching especially! My feet have been hurting lately, punishing me for years of not paying enough attention to them:( But maybe it's not too late. Maybe I can still pamper my feet and ankles and make them serve me well for the rest of my life! A couple of years ago I stretched three times a day RELIGIOUSLY, and got my legs in pretty good shape! And my feet never hurt. So I'm just being careful and mindful of how I treat my poor little feet and the joints attached to them:) My hope is that an injury doesn't make me MORE disabled:( I know it's a reality for so many of the Disabled, but I (perhaps arrogantly) thought that in terms of getting my fair share--CP and the Hydrocephalus that caused it, as well as bei

Hello! Today I've enjoyed a lot of relaxing. Yesterday being as emotional as it was, and as physically taxing, I was just wiped out this morning. Slept in, then watched the world go on without me outside my apartment windows! Later came another grocery delivery I've been needing for a few days now, which gave me such a sense of well-being--I fell into a happy nap! Sometimes this kind of "lazy day-zee" is a God send. Tomorrow I'll begin working out so I'm in a little better shape should I be hired into the position I seek:) Part of my tiredness this morning came from the realization that the "front of the house" tri-fold position of usher/coat check/ticket taker would require stamina I do NOT have right now...so I'm going to seek THAT as well. The right exercise does wonders. Plus I'd like to look good in the "white shirt, black pants" uniform. I need a few white shirts! Thank goodness I have time to prepare. There's so m

Well I've been interviewed! It was such a rush to get ready, get there, then give sparkling answers to the two very nice interviewers' questions that I...needed a drink afterwards! Thank goodness for a delicious restaurant across the street. It's one of the major draws to the job, as far as I'm concerned:) They are also wonderfully accessible to the Disabled like me; their front door OPENS onto a ramp (if you ignore the straight path to the host stand). And I found the whole experience the perfect "come down" after arriving to my much-anticipated interview sweaty with frizzy hair, and over-analyzing my every answer and THEIR every sideways glance. I'm still cautiously optimistic, but I honestly don't know if I "nailed it", as I planned. Nevertheless, I really tried, and I think if nothing else, I had a good conversation with two women from my possible future:) There will be a follow-up edition to THIS entry in a week and a half to two we

Just did a trial "run" to my prospective workplace! Very beautiful and official-looking as I've known from having been there before, but also very close to parts of Grand Rapids that calm and inspire me:) So after I'd scoped out where I have to go for the interview, I was able to take a breath and enjoy a peaceful moment in the almost-cool, still kinda muggy surroundings:) It was unexpected; I so often think of downtown as an urban jungle. Turns out if you look for it, there is beauty to behold. This reminded me of the misconceptions so many people have about the Disabled--that if there's something physically lacking there MUST also be something mentally wrong. And vice versa, really. The injustice of it hit me again; so many people live in such small worlds. Like me with my concept of this area, really. Yes the section I live in boasts NO natural wonder at all. Yes the part I live in is very urban and unkempt. Not so just a few blocks away! Imagine if we saw pe

Late post! But I got a very late start; it was hard to find the energy to do all the little chores I had set for myself! But I was amazed that somehow I did:) Getting out of town on the bus during rush hour was particularly excruciating; I thought for SURE I'd miss my chance at some of the more time sensitive things I had to do. But by the grace of God, I made it before they closed--by about 15 minutes, but still. . Coming home, my poor old dirty, downtrodden street depressed me a little, and I started to despair of my place in this world:( But speaking of God, I think He "felt" me feeling bad, 'cause right after one conversation with a guy who told me his sob story about being stranded in GR when he's from Detroit and blah...blah...blah "could I spare any change"...a man walked past and simply said "God bless you, Baby":) Just when I really, really needed it! Life is like that sometimes. The good follows the bad. I floated home quite ha

Thought this was such a clear articulation of something so often dismissed in our culture (people telling me "you're not disabled enough")--it was well worth sharing here:) Cheers to those who "make it work" even if they need a wheelchair (or a walker) much of the time!

Was just chatting back and forth with a high school friend on Facebook. I'd posted one of those "Would you live here for $100,000" things, showing a lovely, rustic cabin on the water somewhere. She pointed out that as an Epileptic, she needs some one with her to tell her if she's had a seizure; she isn't always aware. Aside from that familiar crestfallen feeling of "we are the reason we can't have nice things," and why we can't live the dream in some secluded paradise away from people and the burdens of civilization--those of us with health concerns--I started thinking about how "paradise" is not traditionally SUPPOSED to accommodate the Disabled. Remember my entry "Make a Way for Us"? It's the same kind of thing. As a follow-up, the sweet elderly lady who needed help getting in and out of our rented house DID make it there to be with us, and she DID, I think, enjoy herself! But this latest thing, with my Epileptic fri

A final thought on this moon beautiful night:

Sometimes I feel like Tito:) Everybody needs a helper.

Hello! About to make an important call, but I'm procrastinating by blogging first:) Yesterday was a wonderful welcome home. I got to sleep in just a little in the weird greyish yellow light of my bedroom when the shade is drawn on a partly sunny day, which was DESPERATELY appreciated after my late, late, LATE night arrival. A lot of stretching, doing chores, and general re-acclimation to my normal routine later, I volunteered with the young adults with Autism that I've been involved with since oh....about March. A great time was had by all! And thanks to the blog I'd written about it, the program director knew my "no groceries in the house" plight and took me out to dinner! What a wonderful year it's been. Pretty much since January, when I resolved to not be so self-indulgent (sleeping too much, watching too much Netflix) and finally admitting that I was kind of disappointed with myself. There has definitely been SOME self-indulgence. Who doesn't like

Good Afternoon, Lovelies! Got home extremely late last night/extremely early this morning--a little bit later than planned thanks to Amtrak:( For a while there it seemed like we were speeding up and we'd make up for lost time...but not so. We got in at exactly 11:49. Thank God for the Go Bus I called two days ago! He waited for my train, helped me load up, and got me home eventually (though thanks to the eternal construction, we took a couple detours). Then I got to sleep off my wonderful-yet-tiring trip a little this morning. The thing I remember the most was Amtrak's idea of "accessibility ramps"--a bouncy little metal ramp they unfold and lay across the gap between the car floor and the platform. Nice to have access, but a little unnerving having to cross that rickety thing with my walker laden with luggage and a snack for the train! Oh the things we put up with! Tonight though, I'm right back to my routine, volunteering with young adults near my apartmen

Phew! Finally back from quite an ambitious two 1/2 hours! Morning was productive and pleasant, safe within the confines of my apartment. Then I just HAD to do my civic duty and vote in the Michigan Primary election, which was easy enough since the polling place is very close. Then somehow, on my way to lunch afterward, the heat and all the grass clippings in the air got me befuddled, and I ended up so far from the lunch spot I'd planned on, I had to take a freakin' bus back! Which was actually fine, 'cause those things are air conditioned, and I'd been walking around a while, so it gave me a chance to cool off. And actually, kudos to the Powers That Be for making walker-accessible polling stations that are a little lower but still private; that kind of equality is what we need in our daily lives! Anyway, post-lunch, which was at a place with VERY heavy doors since it's located downtown and probably they just want to be extra cautious--here I am! Back to the bas

Well! That was easy:) All's well that ends well with family reunion logistics:) And it's coming up now much faster than I can believe it! I even started packing two days early to make sure I don't forget anything. Although, if I'm honest, there's still a distinct possibility I'll forget SOMETHING. It's a complicated trip with many considerations to take into account. But it's not like I've never traveled, or traveled on my own before! I'll probably end up bringing more than I use, even though I try to avoid over packing. I think I have all of the most important things:) This has been quite the surprise, seeing the ways other people handle traveling, and all the different considerations on THEIR end. I can absolutely understand how it would frazzle a person who's not usually able to travel because of caring for an elderly parent/differently-abled person to have to get their mind around the logistical nightmare such an undertaking can sometim