In Transit

Well, I think I've lost the Paratransit ID that I JUST renewed at the end of July:( This is the magical pass that I flash at City bus drivers that allows me to ride without charge! So disappointed with myself that I lost it. But I figure, the last time I used it had to have Tuesday, when I was riding the bus every which way and running tons of errands. Hard to keep up with everything you're juggling under those circumstances! It probably slipped out of the sleeve when I was sitting down and folding up my walker while trying to keep an eye on my purchases and my purse on the bus, while simultaneously trying to have manners and keep the aisle clear. At least it wasn't my wallet though. So of course, I forgive myself. Life goes on! Thank God it's not an expensive replacement. My "punishment" will be going where all the busses congregate and all the city's transportation needs are met, standing for another ID photo, something I NEVER look forward to. But after talking to my friend about it, I realized that it doesn't make sense for me to "wait and see" if the darn thing turns up. Number 1) I don't think it will, and Number 2) I have to be able to get around. I'm the happy wanderer:) I ride the bus so infrequently now that it almost stresses me out a little to ride the bus even with my ID! Not that it's horrible not to have it, but it gives me a sense of ease. After I wrote these opening paragraphs, I decided I WILL wait for a little while, but not to see if my paratransit ID shows back up. The reason is 'cause we in West Michigan are FINALLY getting some amazing, glorious, soaking rain and thunderstorms! For the next 24 hours! On Thursday it's supposed to be cloudy, but only a high of 74 with no rain in the forecast. So that'll be my day to replace the ID, and maybe to grab a few groceries to help me through Part II of the major storms, which will be coming ALL through this weekend!! Unless of course the weather changes, which is more likely than not, given that I'm in Michigan! This whole silly issue brings to mind the reunion, and bad feelings I had coming home. I was kind of forced by circumstance NOT to use my walker for an entire day, and yes...I did blow up a little finally. It was just all getting a bit too much. I'd been a good sport about things until then, but at long last I put my foot down about ALWAYS needing to take somebody's arm, never being able to walk for very long even so, because without the walker I get tired more easily. This is not unlike the paratransit ID situation. And it's extremely unfair of the city bus to make us "other." We already have to have a special ID we use for transportation because we don't drive, now they're saying without said ID, we're "not" disabled! Fortunately many of the drivers are very kind-hearted, and they don't make a fuss if you tell them you're without your ID, but (thankfully) you do have a walker. There are still some drivers--even passengers--who've had the audacity to claim a mobility aid is not proof:( This is the one difference I would venture to say no other marginalized group encounters. They are all "othered" by their immediate appearance, immediately. They have to accept that the world sees them as different, even though they ARE NOT, just based on how they look. The Disabled not only look different, we have to deal with the fact that NO MATTER WHAT--some people within the "majority" will still question whether we belong to the group we've been ostracized to. EVEN IF we don't act the same. Consider those with Autism but on the high-functioning end. They don't "look" disabled; they certainly are NOT (most of the time) physically disabled. Sometimes they are, but these are not the people I'm talking about. It's those of us with invisible disabilities and no mobility aids as a "badge of disability" to show the world so that these people who are clearly at a disadvantage in the everyday world--can be given the advantages and respect they are due. It boggles my mind how blatantly the Disabled are disrespected in some areas. Almost every time I ride (which is far less than it used to be, for this reason alone), I question whether some of those sitting in the seats CLEARLY marked "for the disabled and elderly" are entirely literate. They're "manspreading" their legs across the aisles or taking up two seats in front with their groceries--I would almost rather not ride the bus at all! And some day it might come to that. For now I just work on my thick skin.