Broken Lives Matter

Hello Lovelies! Just wanted to share how nice I've felt lately. It has been a revelation, discovering through multiple reels and posts and comments that I've been wrong about myself all along. I grew up thinking that because I get quiet in social situations, or because I hyper-fixate on different things all the time that consume my attention until I gradually wean myself off of them, there was something seriously wrong with me. I thought my inability to connect with people or make eye contact during small talk that I would die alone. And I had almost become comfortable with this. I was ready to accept it. Alone. How amazing it has been to see that "wrong" was entirely wrong. Thinking there was something fundamentally "unfixable" about me, resigning myself to eternal solitude to avoid the pain of stares and misunderstanding and ignorance did not  have to be my fate. I didn't have to feel like I was too much for this world. Somebody out there is willing to

 This is just a really cool little photo I thought I'd share: https://www.facebook.com/groups/981878396466340/permalink/1126391062015072/

 Hello Lovelies! Revelations have been had just now. So this week I have been really  struggling with regulating my sleep schedule. A lot. I stayed up allllll night the night before the eclipse and ended up sleeping through the whole darn thing. Why did I stay up, you ask? Because I wasn't tired. I had done the exact same thing the night and day before. I've never  had a regulated schedule. Not even really when I was little. It's to do with the hospital stays and then the recovery and inactivity I think. I started out today being kind of down on myself; I've struggled all week with not hating myself for being so "abnormal". I should be like everyone else, right? At least that's what society would have me believe. Then just now I saw this wonderful reel that spurred me to action. It is wonderful these days, as I am relearning who I am as a more emotionally mature adult, to see things that vindicate my suspicion that there was never anything "wrong"

Hello Lovelies! Yes, it's been a minute. But let's not dwell on the past; some truly wonderful reels have been showing up in my feed, and I wanted to share one with you! Let me count the ways I love this video by Anthony Ferraro. Number 1, I love it because like Molly Burke, he is blind and giving us all a glimpse into his daily struggles and considerations that otherwise, I admit that even I wouldn't necessarily have thought of. Although there have definitely been times in my life when using my sense of touch, my tactile perception-- in addition to  my visual perception has helped me identify an object. Also because I lack most depth perception (one of my eyes turns nearly entirely inward toward the center), I have difficulty always being aware of the space around me. My spacial awareness or "place in the universe", if you like, isn't always immediately apparent. So I too have had to find ways of combating this problem, and attempt to be graceful when grace i

 Hello Lovelies! I've had to take some personal time; this has been quite a roller coaster month. I'm sharing (perhaps for the second or maybe third time?) a little neurodiversity reel that touches my heart every time. Understand that when those of us with challenges--be they physical or  mental--feel understood by one person, it means the whole world . We struggle every single day just to exist in environments where our very existence was never accounted for. Better not seen and not heard, right? So when Lewis Capaldi felt understood in his challenges by thousands of concert goers?! My friends, I'm sure that none of us can even imagine what that felt like. You see him raise his eyebrows slightly as the crowd takes over for him, and just stand there listening for a moment. Then even as his tics from Tourette's Syndrome progress Capaldi sings one note, trying to join in the amazingly accepting moment, but he realizes he can't, bless him, and ultimately departs the st

 Hello Lovelies! I found this video fascinating. For one thing, I've asked (and tried to determine) if I am Autistic even just by a little bit--throughout my life. And indeed, as a younger person I was quiet, introverted to a fault, and nearly non-verbal in a classroom. Turns out, I was just in entirely the wrong situation for my own learning style. A classroom full of almost-strangers is intimidating! Not to mention the colors, displays, learning tools and distractions all around me could be extremely detrimental to someone with sensory overload, which brings me to the first point. Temperature Regulation Issues My friends, the speaker in this video explains it so much more concisely than I could, but let me tell you, it's been a problem. I'm actually surprised that temperature regulation issues are specific to Autistic people in this reel, because it has been a problem for me that a number  of factors contribute to, not just neurodiversity. Who among us hasn't at one p

Hello Lovelies! I've just looked at the forecast; come Monday the disrespectfully low temperatures and their wind chills, along with the mounds and mounds of fluffy white frozen marshmallow snow that causes depression will all begin to disappear! Personally, I cannot wait; I'm counting the hours. Meanwhile, I present you the cutest little snuggle button I've ever seen, small enough to snuggle in a tissue box, but he'd probably hate that because it would bother his arthritis:) I call him Toddy, though I bet he has a different name. What would YOU name this little bit? https://www.facebook.com/reel/2370445169827485 

Good Morning, Lovelies! Winter has finally come, well into the calendar season, and disrespectfully. There is a major storm brewing in the region for the entire weekend, to the point where I've cancelled everything for today, planning to hermit until any percieved danger is past:) This is good news for readers! And writers too; we can just stay in, silence phones and other technology, and focus on words on a page. Digesting or producing said words, it's much nicer than struggling through wind and weather. I didn't even read the windchill temperatures in online forecasts; I want to avoid despair. FOCUSING: I found the following while scrolling and it spoke to me. I won't go into exactly which things are triggered from my past or why, but there WAS an incident just this weekend that made this meme resonate like a Cathedral bell. Like a cave echo. Like a tuning fork. And it really made me think. If such can be true for me, it must also be extremely true for others. Whi

For some people, their bliss is more important to them than doing the right thing. So they stay willfully ignorant. * To be clear, I have never experienced this personally--at least not in a way I noticed. But it happens to many, many of us. Like those people in wheelchairs who freeze to death outside their apartment building because nobody will open the door for them, or stop in their passing to call up (a very inaccessible feature for people in wheelchairs, I might add, as the keypad for an aparttment building is only eye-level to an able-bodied person) for someone to unlock the door. Maybe the person in the wheelchair is shy about asking those entering the building to hold it for them--if any happen by. Or maybe because it IS a cold night, nobody is going near the building doors either to go in OR come out. So those willfully unseen suffer:( This reminds me of my four years living in a downtown area, and all the unhomed individuals I saw every single day. I gave everything ex

Hello Lovelies! I'm having a lonely moment:( It's another gray day in town, with snow in the forecast. And I know I'm not the only one getting gloomy this time of year, even without any snow. My sadness today comes from having to deal with "young people loneliness"--feeling isolated, feeling misunderstood, disrespected, and often disregarded...AS WELL as "old people loneliness"--that feeling that others are afraid you'll break if you hug them too tight:( When hugs are my very, favorite thing! Or if not my favorite thing, one of the top 5:) So because I believe if you have a grievance, you don't have to sit around and complain, you can get up and there is ALWAYS something to be done to get out of the situation--I'm doing something. Meet Clara Woods, a wonderful, mostly non-verbal stroke survivor. She's also remarkably young, which reminds me of my would-have-been husband Michael, who had a stroke as a very young man yet lived in a wheel