Content With the Mystery
Hello Lovelies! I have some thoughts about this guy. Look for them beneath the reel; I want you to hear what he has to say.
Okay, first of all, he's right about one thing. Saying "what happened to you?" to someone using a mobility aid is rude. However, I don't think it's rude for the reasons he says it is. Calling it "disrespectful" seems cheap, as if you're minimizing the offense. It is flat out willful ignorance.
Also, it assumes the aid is because of an injury, and that the need for it is temporary. Oh how many times I've dealt with this particular shade of stupidity!! At this point in my life, I am well past the use of a plucky euphemism for insensitively we are viewed. It is stupid. It is a shame. They should be ashamed of themselves. Comments like "what happened to you?" re-traumatize the sufferer. Imagine being asked "what happened to you?" and thinking "I was born."
Hello.
From that point, you've lost the right to ask another question, and you probably should just walk away. But this man suggests inviting conversation, which is another way of handling the issue I guess, but personally it is not one I would choose. Who wants to explain themselves to anyone, let alone someone who just brought up a painful subject? Whether they did so intentionally or not is entirely beside the point. An able-bodied person wouldn't stand to be disrespected like that. They would shake their head and walk away. Why shouldn't the Disabled be afforded the same courtesy?
To summarize, I think the dilemma explored in this reel has some major holes. Even if the aid is being used because of an injury, the road to recovery might be long and uncertain. Asking for an explanation of the situation (which you honestly do not have a right to ask for) is a bit presumptuous. And it will only take the injured party back down the dark road of what happened, when, how, and who was involved--which a lot of people may not be emotionally ready to revisit. Even if it is just in their minds...unless you are a very close friend or family member, or possibly a therapist--I would think it's better just to be content with the mystery of how someone ended up in a wheelchair or using a walker.
In fairness, we don't have to give plucky answers. That is a conditioned response to being asked insensitive questions all our lives. If we give honest answers, we get such disapproving looks and the air is suddenly so thick with discomfort, we've learned over time that it's better to just pretend we are not bothered. To make others comfortable. But we are not comfortable. And that's my main problem with this reel. We don't owe anyone an explanation that leaves them feeling alright with the encounter. While this reel misses the mark in terms of capturing the inner world of a disabled person, I do think he means well. My point is that good intentions often fall short.
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