Leap!
It's like Spring!! Finally:) Oh how we have suffered up here in Michigan through this winter that was longer and harsher than we've had in years! I've just taken my dogs out for a little walk in the sunshine, and it was truly wonderful. This is by far my favorite season, when the sun returns and reminds that it was there all along, just at a greater distance.
The arrival of the better weather has helped cheer me up, as well as put things in perspective. There was a time when I needed a crutch very badly--to get me through those two horrible weeks in the hospital when loneliness was suffocating, to keep me from completely losing my mind in the empty months following his death, to help me rebuild my self-confidence as I carried on without him. This blog filled that link, by somehow being the bridge of love between our life before and my life since July. But I believe the time it was needed has passed.
One of my favorite quotes lately is "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my own ship." I have said in the past that I feel that there is nothing I can't do within reason. Building a house might be a bit much to ask, and swimming even a lap in an Olympic-sized pool is probably not something you'd see me do! But on the whole, my self-confidence is extremely high, and I don't feel I need a place to vent any more.
The blog will still be here for nostalgia. Talking to my sister last night we agreed just "disabling" it for now will be enough. But there won't be anything new from this point on. It's another bold step for me, closing my eyes and letting my foot fall into oblivion, a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. With the end of this blog, I feel like it's really over. The day long proposal, Yule, the move--but also the most painful parts of my grief. I finally have so much in my life and so many projects that Michael inspired--I'm eager for the future and excited about what may lie ahead. The end of one thing always just means the beginning of another. At last I don't feel empty imagining them without him.
Thank you all for supporting me and encouraging my progress on this blog; it has really meant so much to me. A writer never tires of hearing that she is good:) I will keep it up, only this time focus on projects other than this blog. Michael was proud of me for it, and I will always have that inside. But it's time to find other ways to love his memory; this blog was a single chapter....
The arrival of the better weather has helped cheer me up, as well as put things in perspective. There was a time when I needed a crutch very badly--to get me through those two horrible weeks in the hospital when loneliness was suffocating, to keep me from completely losing my mind in the empty months following his death, to help me rebuild my self-confidence as I carried on without him. This blog filled that link, by somehow being the bridge of love between our life before and my life since July. But I believe the time it was needed has passed.
One of my favorite quotes lately is "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my own ship." I have said in the past that I feel that there is nothing I can't do within reason. Building a house might be a bit much to ask, and swimming even a lap in an Olympic-sized pool is probably not something you'd see me do! But on the whole, my self-confidence is extremely high, and I don't feel I need a place to vent any more.
The blog will still be here for nostalgia. Talking to my sister last night we agreed just "disabling" it for now will be enough. But there won't be anything new from this point on. It's another bold step for me, closing my eyes and letting my foot fall into oblivion, a la Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. With the end of this blog, I feel like it's really over. The day long proposal, Yule, the move--but also the most painful parts of my grief. I finally have so much in my life and so many projects that Michael inspired--I'm eager for the future and excited about what may lie ahead. The end of one thing always just means the beginning of another. At last I don't feel empty imagining them without him.
Thank you all for supporting me and encouraging my progress on this blog; it has really meant so much to me. A writer never tires of hearing that she is good:) I will keep it up, only this time focus on projects other than this blog. Michael was proud of me for it, and I will always have that inside. But it's time to find other ways to love his memory; this blog was a single chapter....
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