Loving

A few days ago I had a revelation. While the concept of a marriage has always been a social construct, a partnership leaves it entirely to the couple to decide the terms of their relationship. In other words, before the State butted in, once upon a time people were joined by love. Bursting with this new thought, I've done some research. I found an article listing in detail all the things that have traditionally defined marriages, and how over time that has evolved. They've gone from being almost exclusively arranged unions to purely convenience couplings, to being about how each person feels about each other, with the State being more or less an after thought. Having been the maid of honor at my sister's wedding, I can tell you the extent of the State's involvement was a piece of paper declaring my sister's name change, essentially, and the rest of the time I stood beside her at the head of the aisle, gave a speech, and bore more witness to the love in their hearts than to the signing of documents. This is what breaks my heart. The documents are what matter. As little involvement as the State has in marriage now days, if I were to cast caution aside and marry my own heart's desire, the State would point to that little piece of paper: "you were married to ME first." And there would go my livelihood. I probably couldn't even get into subsidized housing thereafter...the State would claim I was one person, with my own income now. It just boils my blood. Where does the United States government get off setting the terms for my happiness? How can they take away my right to fall in love? Once upon a time the State did no such thing; there was TRUE separation of Church and State, and the government did not define the conditions for any individual's happiness. It knew better. Now I'm not saying we should go back to a time when marriages were arranged. Nor am I saying I cast off all governmental assistance. I bless the leaders who saw it right to help me as much as they have. But deep in my heart I do still think marriages are a union before God, because they loved each other...and the State has absolutely no right to barge in and say "but she's can't love--she's disabled."