The Future is Comin' On

Good Morning, Lovelies! I started writing yesterday. I intended to finish writing yesterday. But an exceptional dinner and the resulting mess I had to clean up afterward totally stole my mojo:) So here we are; a day late but hopefully I'll make up for any of our shortcomings! So today is a beautiful day, and that's a very good thing, as I have plans. I just wrote down the directions to the County Clerk's office with bleary eyes (an easy walk from here), waiting for my coffee to brew. Now it's "Monday Morning Coffee Time", I can tell you I'm getting the petitions to get myself on the ballot for library commissioner! They meet very close by, and I actually met one of them at a meeting there last week! Hence the motivation to run. It's a little frightening; I have SO many other things going on. But I the member I spoke to assured me it's only a once monthly time commitment. And that's only for 2-6 years. So if I AM elected (first I have to get on the ballot!) this will take the place of another commitment, at the church, I'm afraid I'll have to leave soon. Possibly next year...if I can last that long with the added, secular responsibility. Although services yesterday were wonderful as usual, and I enjoyed seeing my "family up the hill" as I call them. They all fret over me having to walk up and down the fairly steep hill that leads to my door, but I often say that in the event of a nuclear or environmental disaster, I'd crawl up that hill to get to my church:) So in the meantime, it's nothing to walk for two minutes on a bit of an incline! The destination is worth it. It is in fact the later stages of my life that have been plaguing me lately. Not just because my family up the hill are primarily "of the older persuasion", you might say (although a lot of new members have been younger or my age, which excites me to no end!), which brings my own twilight years into sharp focus, but also because I've been reading a number of books for my church book club that deal with old age and death. Indeed, the afterlife as well! But that's a whole different entry. So often, I hear the phrase "I never thought it would happen to me." And several times I've shared a hospital room with elderly patients, because spinal issues fall under the heading "Neuro-science" in the medical world, and backs break down as one gets older. So I've spent many hours listening to the lady in the next bed dealing with the realities of recovery from back surgery. And I've lately begun to wonder (my breath catches in my throat) what MY future is going to look like. So often in life our "friends" disappoint us. I might make as many contacts at the library or friends at church or elsewhere (randomly pulling people aside to sign my petition?), but in the end, who's going to really stick with me? Who's going to "see this thing through" and not decide that life is less complicated or inconvenient without me? It's happened already. I've lost a number of friends over the years who've just kind of fallen away for whatever reason, some having nothing to do with distance or lost touch. I just hope that these experiences have prepared me to recognize better friends with more "staying power" when I see them, and invite THOSE people in. I think they have without me even noticing it. Maybe that will help with the latter years. And the biological family that is scattered across the state, however well-meaning, won't feel the burden of helping/taking care of me in all the insane illnesses and problems I fear must be coming. I can rely on the "roots" I've laid down here, in my relative youthfulness, to sustain me in my scary future.