Write Your Congressman!

Finally I have found one specific part of life as a disabled female to point at and say without doubt or shame: that is NOT fair. As the Social Security law stands right now, I would lose the type of assistance I get...if I got married! It's just ludicrous. And at 35, time's a-wastin' if you know what I mean! I'm ready to be in a committed relationship without any fear, and I would like to know I have the freedom to do so. So, for the first time, on a friend's suggestion, I've written my congressional representatives. Well actually all of them. There are fourteen! I intend to send my letter to each of them. And I intend to send more. This is a very specific issue in a very sensitive time, when I believe very strongly that if nobody says anything now, nothing will ever improve--and might even get worse--for disabled Americans. Particularly women, as they are the only ones who would suffer the loss of their benefits by losing their single status. Are we just supposed to stay behind closed doors forever, keep our noses clean, not make any ripples in society so no one knows we're there, and then die? I refuse to accept that. Those of us with permanent disabilities do not become different people once we marry. We're individuals, and we are not absorbed into the whole once we tie the knot. What happens if we divorce? Do benefits recommence now that we're "us" again? What if something happens between filing for a divorce and being granted one, and the divorcee can't support herself? It is forcing the disabled to remain subservient and unhealthily bound to their spouse, regardless of whether the relationship is a good one, an abusive one, or the spouse doesn't even make enough money to support them both. Then what? And God forbid they have a child! Who would feed that mouth? Nothing about it makes any sense to me; I can't imagine why this isn't already a much bigger issue. I've had long talks with helpful representatives at Social Security, and neither one of them made any apologies, of course. Basically they just encouraged me not to get legally married. Are you kidding? Why shouldn't I want what everyone wants? It's silent prejudice is what it is. So I'm finally taking action, on behalf of myself and on behalf of people like me who are so beaten down by a system designed to ignore them that they can't or won't speak up.