Holy Moses, it's Been a Whole Week!

Hi Lovelies! I can't believe it's been a week since I wrote. It's been busy, but let me also say that I've been struggling to get over depression. Life gets heavy quickly when you're doing everything yourself. But I am still here. Still getting content, trying to work through it. Below is a clip from 3 years ago (by his timeline, but new to me) from Chris Morton. Have I shared him here? I can't believe I haven't--if I haven't. He's amazing. The first man with a hearing impairment to walk across the U.S on his own. And as if that weren't inspiring enough, he heavily documented all of his trials and triumphs; before, during, and after. This one is somehow among my favorites. For all its tragic beauty, it is relateable. When I broke a bone in my hand, though it is a comparitively small break, because I too am labeled a "fall riak", I was given a huge, puffy cast of fiberglass wrapped multipe times in an ACE bandage. And although Chris' reasons for being labeled a fall risk were not the same as those I deal with daily (e.g. the Cerebral Palsy wobblies), I've been mistaken for a drunk, and almost made to leave bars for being "too drunk." Until I talked my way out of it really fast, and they realized who was the deficient one in the situation:) But it's not funny, no it is not. Misunderstanding is the root of ALL evil...just pick one incident in history--any incident--and you can trace it back to somebody's misconstruction of a situation. This seems to be particularly true for those of us "not disabled enough". Chris certainly doesn't appear to have challenges. He's a handsome man, well built, with expressive eyes. But once he begins to sign and speak, that's when the misunderstandings of others can begin. The fact that he fell was probably largely because of his intoxication. HOWEVER...because of the way he doesn't sound like everyone else, and because he probably wasn't able to sign very clearly, they just assigned him "fall risk." Othering him. I am very familiar. When I was too young to know better, in the interest of transparency I told the doctors and nurses caring for me in hospitals that I had had a seizure as a little kid. I didn't qualify it with "because the pressure on my brainstem got too high"--which might have helped them make a decision. But instead they strapped vinyl padding on the guardrails on both sides, blocking the call button (seriously, wtf?), making me feel helpless, and adding to the trauma of the experience for me. They couldn't have known this. Or perhaps they thought the importance of protecting me from myself while thrashing around during a grand mal seizure was greater than understanding. But honestly, it didn't help me OR them, ultimately. It wasn't necessary. Misunderstanding. My wobbles are not related to alcohol most of the time. Through MUCH trial and embarrassing error over the years I've learned that it doesn't take much to tip me over if I've been drinking. So I hardly do it anymore. But out in the world, particularly if I try to get a drink at a bar, the barkeep usually errs on the side of caution and underserves the heck out of me:) Not that I blame them for trying avoid liability. I just hate that I represent one. Such is life when the world is still getting used to the sight of you. That's why some of us walk across the country--and some of us maintain a blog.