Broken Lives Matter

Hello Lovely Readers! I'm getting old. You know how I know? Besides the increasing intensity of aches and pains in the morning, and how much the cold now torments my joints (knees first, now the wrists too for extra fun), I know it because I am SO excited about cancelled plans:) And tonight's plans were merely to volunteer, which has given so much form and purpose to my otherwise nebulous days! So you'd think I'd be "aw shucks-ing" my bad fortune, especially on a day that is uncharacteristically BRILLIANT--if still cold. But surprisingly, I'm delighted to have the excuse to attend a lecture I HAD despaired of going to because it conflicted with my plans to volunteer (I'd made them first, and that always overrides whatever comes up later, if both things are elective). And in a rare moment of clarity, I even got groceries last night that will easily last me through the rest of the week, and welcome me home when I return EXTREMELY late from a trip out...

Well, hi! It has been an inordinately busy day for somebody who's been "hibernating" (somewhat reluctantly after the second week) for as long as I have:( But it's been good busy, church and friends busy, not tedious busy. That'll come tomorrow, God knows. And wouldn't you know it, I hear we're due for ANOTHER big snow on Wednesday. As my friend put it: "well it's Wednesday so..." because in this town, every Wednesday seems to be a snow day, and that's just a matter of course, and we should all get used to it:) And I have tried, Bloggerverse. I have TRIED. But ever since the Polar Vortex the idea of the cold outside causes me to physically recoil. It has been a struggle AND A HALF to force myself out the door some days, to face the uneven sidewalks covered in ice and snow, and "CAT-erpillar" my walker's four wheels over the icy mounds of "footpaths" that the City persists in allowing businesses to call "sho...

BONUS PRE-RAGNAROK POST: First of all, to make this a "teaching moment", read this and tell me it ISN'T more appropriate than "Snowmaggedon": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragnar%C3%B6k Secondly, in talking with a friend online who has also been snow-bound like much of the Midwest lately, and had to spend an inordinate amount of time indoors, I learned that he wasn't even aware of some of the delivery options available in this city. For myself and others like me, they are often a very necessary last resort. I include the ones I know about below, and hope they're of use to at least some of you snow birds out there, about to be grounded by another punishing bout of winter weather: UberEats.com @UberEats on Twitter UberEats customer service (in case of changes to an order): (800) 253-6882 www.grubhub.com www.MrDelivery.com www.dominoes.com www.papajohns.com www.jimmyjohns.com Also, if you're local to my area, I know a numb...

Mea Culpa, Lovelies! It's been a whole week or so since last I posted, though honestly, there hasn't been a whole lot happening around here. I've been hunkered down in the house with most of the rest of West Michigan, staying warm and avoiding black ice on the sidewalks:) Although, those sidewalks alone are reason enough to stay inside, if not also the freezing cold and miserable weather. Weather of ALL kinds! Often happening on the same day, has come to town at last and forced us all back into our homes like scared rabbits. For the most part, I'm grateful just to have a cozy "burrow" to hide in until the weather becomes more tolerable, but on days like today and yesterday, when there's lots of sunshine or at least temperatures above 20 degrees, I take my stir-crazy self out, not knowing how long it will be 'til I'm forced back into my hidey hole:) Such conditions, and knowing the whole region (and many others) have to contend with the same t...

It's ENTIRELY too cold! Not only is the Polar Vortex trouncing the state of Michigan right now (with special attention to the west central part), strong winds are blowing constantly-falling snow and the mounds of it that have already fallen ALL OVER:( Guess where I've been all week?! Yep, that's right. Right here watching the weather from inside the comfort of my own messy apartment. To add to the fun, last night the governor came on social media to appeal to the public to keep their heat at 65 degrees when they are home. Well, unfortunately I'm home pretty much all the time since it's not worth venturing two feet out of the door! But I'm getting used to the restrictions, which I begrudgingly followed. Initially, I will admit, I had no intention of complying with the governor's demands. But I got to thinking about it, and realized that if other home-bounders with disabilities suffer in the future--I do not want it to be MY fault:) So I'll happily make...

Happy Sunday, Lovelies! It was momentarily sunny and calm out; I think it's supposed to snow buckets tonight. I found I simply could not spend another Sunday holed up in my apartment (even if that's a very cozy option), and arranged for a ride on Thursday. I didn't ask for the same person to drive me home, assuring them I'd find some one else to do me that honor:) Thankfully, because of the community within my church and the amount of friends I've made within it, it was indeed not a problem to find a ride home after the service, though by the time I left, almost everyone else had gone! That's just the good fortune I've found in a small, tight-knit group of very kind-hearted people, because I went outside my comfort zone after Michael died. They say that life begins outside your comfort zone, AND they say that life begins with Jesus, so I guess I'm two for two. But this got me thinking about those in another community to which I didn't choose to b...

So many things on my mind tonight. Particularly to do with the Disabled who are "newly" so, and have to deal with end-of-life concerns on top of what they deal with on a daily basis! Being disabled is daunting enough I imagine, if you've never had any previous concerns about getting from A to B, or have understandably taken your freedom of movement for granted. Having gone to physical therapy recently and decided on my own to cut the number of visits by a fourth, and as one of the founding members or an active participant in several groups who deal with disabilities seen and unseen at various ages, I've come to some conclusions. The first of which is that I do not (and most likely will not) be one of those people "surprised" by getting older. I'm going to do like my grandmother does, and take everything in stride as it comes, and never make a big deal about anything, but not ever ignore anything new, either. Or at least do my best not to let anything s...

Hello! My day started with more of a jolt than I would have liked today, because I effortlessly slept through my blaring phone alarm (or I turned it off without waking up), and had to leap (slowly, with reluctance) out of bed to make myself semi-presentable for an art event happening in almost no time at all! Somehow, I made it, and I looked impressively presentable:) I met the incoming curator/director, got to look at several mind-expanding art exhibits centered around a central, yet divisive theme in our culture, and reflect once again on how that theme sounds more and more familiar to my own experience as a disabled person in America today. We're all marginalized too, though opinions still differ on exactly who receives the worst of it--and honestly I can't really maintain the position that mine suffers more. Yes, there are inconveniences, but in fairness to them, a lot of the disabled community used to just stay shut up indoors, rather than face those inconveniences and...

Hello! Today's big story is of course the sun:) It's a big story because we haven't seen it around here in a long time, and all of a sudden yesterday, it showed up! As a friend in church reminded me, she takes comfort in the reassurance that "the sun is always shining", repeated to herself. And that is wonderful and no less true than the fact that it's shining today! But it's so hard to remember that the sun is really out there, when you're enduring day after day of grayness, often accompanied by rain. I know if I lived in Sweden or even Alaska I'd have to get used to blackness after just a few hours of sun every day this time of year. But nevertheless, I lament the heavy mantle of the Midwesterners, which seems TOO heavy sometimes, with so many people suffering from the very real condition of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD...isn't that just sad to say?). Myself I've been indoors doing very little, MANY days this season. If not bec...

Happy New Year, Lovely Readers! It's been shamefully long since I posted, but SO much has been going on lately! Honestly, my schedule is getting away from me, and one of my first purchases of the New Year will be a day planner. Yes, these days even Google has a calendar for your whole agenda, and I could just rely on that to keep me straight. But just because I write something down in my Google calendar doesn't mean I'm going to check said calendar every day! I could miss something, as I did last night, that I had been hoping to attend. I guess that's just another thing I'll have to forgive myself for; I'm not perfect, in fact I make a lot of mistakes, but that's just the way I am. After so many years of my life, I've decided "screwing up" is just something I do, and nothing to get upset over. Which is what I wish I could tell everyone with a disability. So many of us hold ourselves to an irrational standard, thinking we have to meet a cer...

Merry Christmas, Lovelies! Please pay no mind to the link I posted (or the meme, if it ever appears); it's further evidence of my technological shortcomings:) That is, I did not mean to share it on this blog! You all know I'm a loyal Christian, but I don't intend to make this blog a platform for evangelism! There are plenty of other opportunities for that in this broken world, particularly these days. And speaking of "these days"--I'm writing to you on an off day because, #1, in my brilliantly scattered brain, writing a meaningful blog that others might enjoy keeps being shuffled to the back of the line of things on my plate during this holiday season, and #2, I don't want to miss my weekly opportunity to speak out, and I believe I just might, if I wait any longer this week. Besides, I've just come from church, and the time I spend in that sanctuary of peace (for me) invariably inspires--so afterwards is an ideal time to spread my own message! T...

The bus line. What can I say? It only goes just so far:( Then non-drivers have to do some fancy maneuvering to create a back up plan that will take them where they need to go! Especially if you prefer a flip phone and have not given in to the world wide craze of Ubers and Lyfts. But thankfully, in this season of gratitude, there are still cabs in the city. Yes, Amelia, there IS a Santa Claus:) Or at least somebody who watches over me and makes sure I'm doing okay. Coming home from my "holiday" frivolity, it was dark and cool, though not icy cold thank God, and not snowing like a thick, heavy, endless lace curtain was continuously being dropped over everything-as in past years. But I had just spent a long evening on the train, and I was in no mood to walk myself to my apartment, which I could possibly have done, in the day time. Hark the Herald cab company! I've had the number programmed into my phone for the longest time, and with one call, they were at the train s...

I almost forgot again! Shame on me. But you know, for a change it's been a good day:) All week I've been suffering from pretty intense post-adventure depression, just wandering around my little apartment, not wanting to participate in anything, scoffing at the Christmas commercials on TV, wishing I was still surrounded by family...or at least that I still had things I HAD to get done that day, as opposed to only things I could easily put off until tomorrow. This can be just as disabling as any physical impairment! Like one of my good friends from church and other groups always reminds me--"not all disabilities are visible." Well there you are, and one of the major problems with society. We have to flash our disabilities in front of people in order for them to get the attention they deserve, yet it's the LAST thing we want to do! What about getting jobs? I've all but given up on that possibility, thanks to the necessity of my walker and the red flag it repres...

Getting out of town for a little bit! My train leaves WELL before the sun comes up tomorrow, and then I hear it's supposed to rain all weekend:( Boo. Well fortunately I'll be spending most of the time in a barrier-free, mostly-accessible hotel thanks to the generosity of family and strangers, so I'm happy:) This entry is a bit late today, it's true, but if it's any consolation, I had an anxious feeling in my stomach this afternoon! Like my subconscious mind KNEW I should be blogging, but my conscious mind just hadn't caught up yet. So I'm writing from the library basement again; they have the printer I needed to get my ticket, and they too are barrier free and even MORE accessible than the hotel:) So of course I'm here, and of course I don't mind that I had to walk here from my place; the fresh air was very nice after a whole day inside doing last minute things before travel. And now a word on public travel. As much as I've complained about i...

Happy Early Thanksgiving, Lovelies! Since I've started writing only on Thursdays, but tomorrow is a holiday, I'm treating us all to an early entry to make the separation easier:) Tonight the concept of inclusion has come to mind. And actually, of course, it's not JUST tonight; it's all the time. Any time I see evidence of somebody with mental or physical challenges being passed over, as I was, and continue to be. Because of my misadventures in job application, I've found that it's not only unfair to expect EMPLOYERS to hire somebody over-qualified and under-experienced, who is also limited in physical abilities on the job. It is also unfair to expect MYSELF to meet the demands of any kind of position that would require a lot of physical activity and/or labor--even if it's just being on my feet all day; my body is simply unable to safely sustain that kind of work. So..as a consequence I'm left out of the workaday world:( And I am left out of the e...

Lately it has become an oft-echoed sentiment: "So Happy It's Thursday!" with the capitalized initials spelling a word I simply will not declare on this blog. But today I am one of those who happily shouts it. My computer was brought back from the (for all intents and purposes) dead Tuesday, and today I had an appointment with "Prosthetics and Orthotics" that has left me positively buoyant:) For one thing, it was earlier than I'm usually up and about, meaning I got back to my place pretty early, and with plenty of time to continue my original plan for the day, with absolutely no interference from an "AFO" (ankle-foot othosis/leg brace to supposedly correct my supposedly incorrect walking stride). I had a surprisingly lengthy consultation with one of the orthotics specialists, trying on one of the kinds of AFOs that the physical therapists prescribed, and walking around in it to see how it suited me. Which--not surprisingly--was not very well at ...

My computer is going to be picked up at "repaired"--if possible--on Tuesday. I finally bit the bullet and made the call yesterday, foregoing the free walk-in that would have come with two bus rides, in favor of not having to go anywhere in the Winter Weather that's forecast for my area from now until at least the middle of next week. So we'll see how that goes. I have to tell you, I am quite dismayed by how the recent news--showing an unmitigated disrespect for human life--bodes for the disabled community in these coldest, hardest months of the year:( In fact the weather doesn't seem to be providing ANY insulation from malice. It used to be that during the winter we could all rest at least a little bit easy, knowing that a fair number of would-be law-breakers would opt to stay home in the warmth and not participate in any nonsense while there was ice and snow. Now, they're just moving their operations to the warmer climes! A mass shooting at a synagogue in P...

It's been so long; I missed writing! Alas, I haven't gotten around to getting my computer issues resolved yet:( It involves me taking one bus to the transit center then another bus from there, computer in tow and I'm not looking forward to it! Especially not since I rode the City bus for the first time in a long time today, and while the experience was hardly any worse than it usually is, it wasn't..pleasant. And just an aside--NOBODY likes it. Some people might think those who ride it do so because they prefer it--NOPE! It's just a means to an end. I avoid it if there's any way I possibly can. Not having a computer at my convenience has kind of depressed me, I guess. I've spent much of the last two weeks on the couch watching Netflix. And I'm writing this entry in the public library's bank of computers which is also an experience I try not to have too often. I love having the option (one librarian responded to my saying this out loud with 'we ...