Broken Lives Matter

Hello Lovelies! Today is horrible and rainy/cloudy, which suits my mood:( I've been think a lot about mental disability today (and every day, since May is Brain Tumor Awareness month). And I've always assumed I didn't qualify as "mentally disabled". But here's the thing--we're ALL dealing with things that sometimes make us FEEL disabled. In my quest to find something I'm good at, I've failed at so many things, so many times, that I've all but told myself to forget it. The list of things I've tried and failed at is discouragingly long, and it has occurred to me that mental disability doesn't HAVE to be the label we ascribe to ourselves. It is possible that certain things are just not for us. For example, I would be pretty useless at a job with an deviating schedule, even if I was the one who chose the hours! I'm not sure I'd be able to "maintain" at a position that was constantly in flux. But I still don't think...

This came across my feed, and it was too lovely! I have something else to add, but I'll do so in another entry today. I think it's important that THIS one stands alone.

Exactly what so many people don't understand!! A disability isn't always a physical or mental abnormality! Sometimes it's MUCH more than meets the eye:

Hello and Good Morning, Lovelies! A sunny and glorious day has developed, after some SERIOUS drenching earlier, that we desperately needed:) And I'm very delighted to watch it all from behind my elevated windows:) Not that the conditions aren't ideal--they're not. Ideal would be if it didn't look so horribly windy out there! I'm all about getting fresh air and exercise, but with the promise of constant winds batting my walker around and challenging my every step forward--I'd just as soon stay in and avoid the hassle for a while. I'll be out again tonight anyway, volunteering. The big news I just heard is that Google Maps is making some changes for the Disabled in a few large cities! They're making it possible in cities like Boston, Massachusetts and Sydney, Australia, for the disabled community (or otherwise wheelchair bound) to choose "accessible" when filtering their directions! So finally, instead of just saying I want "walking d...

It's a beautiful rainy day, Lovelies! Scattered downpours and this and that, but otherwise coolness and rain and a little bit of a breeze, which is much appreciated. I've discovered over my nearly four years here that heat only rises in my home when it's warmer outside, which makes no scientific sense but...here we are. And there it is. The one thing I can always be sure of is that if there is the slightest breeze to be had, my windows will suck it inside! Just reflecting today on the importance of a group of friends--or several DIFFERENT groups of friends. I'm so amazed and grateful that at this stage in my life, I have groups of friends ALL over the country. I know that's not unusual among those for whom travel is a bit easier, but as someone with mobility concerns (I wouldn't call them 'issues' or 'limitations'), I'm humbly impressed with myself for amassing such an accomplishment! And I know, thanks to the miracle of Facebook and the...

I found this simultaneously heartening (it's happening) and disheartening (not in my country). And I'm fairly sure that with accessibility AND nature not a top priority in the U.S at the moment, it'll be a while before we follow in Canada's footsteps. Not to mention other factors that involve the political climate:( But we mustn't despair. The fact that it's happening at all, anywhere in the world, means that one day the natural world will be accessible to all people--everywhere. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/accessible-bus-banff-lake-louise-1.5139619?__vfz=medium%3Dsharebar&fbclid=IwAR1RfgxzM5rk1liDlq92K43VwVfg69BeAS-NI588BkIpZWdwfb2Opy5pd4I

Happy Thursday, Lovelies! Took a little break from the regime on Sunday...not much to report. But here we are back on schedule, and the sun is trying to shine:) It's trying. We had a little rain this morning, like we do...but nothing remarkable. I always think of the effect rain will have on the "complicated" workings of my walker, which is old and clunky enough that I COULD swap it out for the one I've got in reserve...but I'm used to the one I have. So used to it I'm willing to put up with its growing number of idiosyncrasies. The damp air might wreak havoc on the metal parts, letting things slowly rust until I can't fold the darn thing up to save my LIFE. It may make a clunking noise as I push it, a far cry from the steady whoosh the tires used to make when they weren't bald--four years and many hundreds of miles ago. And that idiotic bell I've put on it to get people's attention when I need to pass through them--that may ring just t...

Hello Lovelies:) The rain. The April/May Showers. They do not seem to be ending. At least not for any appreciable length of time, any time soon:( Seems like they started Monday and just rolled on and on. Which is probably what happened, although don't ask me; I've been forced to "maintain" pretty much exclusively indoors this week. Though yesterday afternoon-evening I did briefly force myself out of exile to get a few groceries and see a movie ("The Russian Five", about hockey; I'm a die-hard fan). This morning I woke up and everything was as wet and gray as it's always been! I have some groceries I want to order for delivery, but I'm holding off until my "Government stipend" as I refer to it euphemistically--arrives tomorrow. That will make my bank account just a tiny bit healthier, which will make me just a tiny bit happier, though honestly not by much:( One little financial issue popped up yesterday; unfortunately without my kno...

I've always preferred "challenged", or "some one who has challenges", or some variation on that theme. I agree with this article; sometimes it IS what it looks like, and no one should be ashamed to let THAT "flag fly":)

Glorious Day, Lovelies! Since before Easter, we haven't had a single moment of unpleasant weather, I don't think. Maybe one or two days of cold-ish. So here's an update on the Library Commission Board position: It did not work out:( First of all, I underestimated the leg work that would be required. Given the few weeks I was allowed before the signatures were due, I tried to get out there and "campaign" every day, which worked for the first four days. After THAT, I was a wreck. My feet felt like they were going to fall off:( After that, it was never the same. I couldn't feel "rested," the pressure points on my feet (despite deep calluses) were throbbing, and even my KNEES had begun to protest the new routine. Not to mention how difficult it was to get anyone to sign anything at all:( Their rudeness felt like a personal assault after a while; like people felt particularly justified in being unkind to me because it WAS me; a girl with a walker. ...

We're being surveilled?! We can't smile/look active/show emotion? This article expertly articulates the folly in this bill's reasoning, explaining while it is fundamentally impossible. I KNEW we would be "next" somewhere down his totem of expendables. https://www.forbes.com/sites/imanibarbarin/2019/04/11/how-a-trump-proposal-could-reduce-happy-disabled-people/?fbclid=IwAR114LZu-qUGiw0QfFiSicA5FiUKmcwCs0eXmfo4n3sMibzw0msmKnlvLTU#cfa34ee636cd

Hey!! It's been such a long couple of days. Actually weeks. Since I started seeking signatures JUST to get on the ballot for the library commission position, and JUST have a chance at election to the position, I've been going out almost every single day, hitting two locations (I move when it becomes closer to a meal time, so I'm closer to where people congregate)...I've been run off my feet! And today it became necessary to take that saying literally. I didn't go anywhere; hardly left my bed! But honestly, it's still kind of exhilarating:) I mean, doesn't every normal person usually come home after a long day with their feet and/or hands hurting? My hands hurt 'cause I've been gripping the walker handles very tightly, but I'm sure there are construction workers and NSA agents out there and who knows how many millions of other employees working their fingers to the bone EVERY day! I've just gotten a very small taste, and I do consider i...

Do we live in a dystopian nightmare? Or is it that the old "rugged individualism" is being forced out of retirement, so people help each other out? Honestly, I can't figure out if I like this news or not. But I think it's worth addressing. I'm so sorry that we have to ask these questions, but with the Baby Boomer era sloooooowly receding, it was bound to come up. What do we do now? How do we move forward? Who's going to be in charge, and how? Hence, a story like this. The old ways of private insurance are showing their seams at this point. Here comes ingenuity and resourcefulness and compassion:

Here we are, Lovelies! Almost to the last weekday and I still haven't written:( But in my defense, it kind of snuck up on me. I've been thinking and planning so many "moves" lately I haven't stopped. My mind is reeling! This blog is a wonderful anchor. When I'm not focusing on "the world" or my faith, I can center in on what defines me, which is indeed what we all (I think) ultimately focus on at the end of the day, when we have to make decisions. Not that the aforementioned characteristics DON'T define me. But they do tend to fade into the mist around a busy life, which I have (almost without realizing it) built myself. Nor do I want the plight of the Disabled community to BECOME one of the things that fades into the mist. That would be counter-intuitive to my very well-being! Because if I don't at least acknowledge the things about me that make me "different" and admit that I need adjustments now and then to MAKE that life ...

Good Morning, Lovelies! I started writing yesterday. I intended to finish writing yesterday. But an exceptional dinner and the resulting mess I had to clean up afterward totally stole my mojo:) So here we are; a day late but hopefully I'll make up for any of our shortcomings! So today is a beautiful day, and that's a very good thing, as I have plans. I just wrote down the directions to the County Clerk's office with bleary eyes (an easy walk from here), waiting for my coffee to brew. Now it's "Monday Morning Coffee Time", I can tell you I'm getting the petitions to get myself on the ballot for library commissioner! They meet very close by, and I actually met one of them at a meeting there last week! Hence the motivation to run. It's a little frightening; I have SO many other things going on. But I the member I spoke to assured me it's only a once monthly time commitment. And that's only for 2-6 years. So if I AM elected (first I have ...

Happy Sunday! One of the things I enjoy sometimes doing at my church, during the Fellowship/social aspect after the service, is to take my coffee and walker and sit up against the wall, facing the room. I'm away from everybody and clearly on my own, but I'm simultaneously in the very center of the action, 'cause I can see everything. An interesting result of this isolation in a crowd (my "normal" since I know a lot people and a lot of people know me, but I'm most comfortable alone) is seeing who breaks the invisible boundaries I've erected and approaches me:) There are a few brave souls to who do, blessed like myself with just enough extroversion to make them friendly to everyone in any situation. And if I'm honest with myself, I know there are some lingering ghosts of low self-esteem who would inhibit my social interaction without these people. I would tell myself "nobody wants to talk to me; they've all got their own friends"--no...

While I'm not sure if my particular kind of benefits will...uh...benefit from this news, if it does, then my life has just changed:) And maybe that 6-month frenzy of calling my representative every day, and writing a letter detailing my life story and why marriage should be allowed to enter into it--were worth it. Granted, it hasn't gone through yet, and my representative may have nothing to do with the representative from New York trying to push this bill through. But what if it does, and what if it did? https://www.disabilityscoop.com/2019/03/12/bill-protect-ssi-marry/26170/?fbclid=IwAR2813dSCIzYw5XSBPU_fcEeS1gkuyxgdPZen3tNhgTtHB7PBpMyXGUlEDg

Happy sunny, brilliant Monday to you all! I got so busy yesterday (and then so tired) I let the whole day slip by without an entry:( As the title says, "I'm to blame." BUT...today has been remarkably busy as well, and I'm making a POINT to keep you all up to speed on my comings and goings/thoughts about life. So at least I've got my priorities straight today:) And toward that end, I'll tell you that I just got back from a little bus ride to the grocery store, and I remember why I usually get my groceries delivered these days. Don't get me wrong, the walking was nice, and the weather is absolutely perfect even with the occasionally blustery wind. But the drivers and the other passengers can be downright callous. The first bus driver I encountered made a point of telling me (before I'd even settled myself) I had to ride with my walker "on your knees", i.e. folded up. As if I don't know the rules, as if I'm stupid or just as rude...

Well, Here we are again! Amazing what a little sunshine can do. Just the sight of it makes me happier and more productive. Those days and days inside with nothing to do but housework and being an internet junkie are so difficult! Welcome to the listening party for the latest CD in my collection--a jazzy contemporary Dutch singer who sings in English and makes me want to dance:) It matches the brighter day and happier circumstances of this day so well. The singer's name (in case anyone in my VERY Dutch area of Michigan is curious) is Caro Emerald, which is initially what drew me to "check out" this artist I'd never heard of. Her music was recommended with the YouTube videos I was watching of a DIFFERENT artist an old friend put on Facebook. I love it. Even though it's pretty brassy Jazz and big band, I find something to relate to in every one of Caro's songs:) And like I said, it's perfect for this sunnier weather. I can't wait to listen to it in s...

Hello Lovelies! Been a whirlwind week or so, let me tell ya! I had to miss last Sunday's installment because I was traveling (thank you once again, Amtrak; you've been a good friend), and then on Thursday of THIS week, I was still recovering from that whilst dealing with more personal drama. Yes, I used the word "whilst" in a sentence and I'm neither English NOR pre-19th Century:) I think it's time the Americans show a little class when they speak, don't you? Not that it's not IMPLIED...but it's not, really. Why not use the fancy words you know, rather than feign unintelligence? So anyway, I found this clip on my Facebook feed and thought I should share it with you. In fact the issue of accessibility for all has become a hot topic among members of my own church, which I for one consider fantastic:) In a day and age when life gets more...interesting every day, I find it heart-warming and wonderful that there are still those out there who priorit...