Broken Lives Matter

Good Morning, Lovelies! Feeling very anxious today:( Just personal insecurities and worries about the future--amorphous, baseless, and with nowhere to rest:( I can't make myself "put it down." Anxiety rates around the country are extremely high, after all. And it makes me feel a little better to know I'm not alone. Indeed, with Quarantine/Lockdown forcing us all to distance ourselves and avoid each other and BE alone--any connection at all is a comfort. Adding fuel to my anxious fire this morning is that I found out I can't proceed with a pet adoption I'd been committed to since last week. So much for reducing my anxiety with a little fur ball:) I'll have to find some other way. I haven't entirely given up. As a result though, of course, my energy is drained. All my optimism has fizzled right out, and I'm just about ready to crawl back into bed. But of course I can't do that; there are still things I've been planning to do today. So...

I've avoided watching this video, which has been in my newsfeed for some time on Facebook. Today I finally made myself, and found it overwhelmingly satisfying from my perspective. We've all got things we're dealing with and many of us by this point have lost loved ones to Covid-19. This guy has taken steps in his own life to cultivate BOTH his physical and his mental health. When i lost my dad several years ago, of those in my household I was the only one who went to grief counseling, and I will never forget the lesson that taught me. We can't just "swallow" a loss, especially not of a family member. Otherwise it is very hard to move on. At the time I also buried myself in anything I could get my hands on about grief or grieving or overcoming loss. I particularly recommend C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed", if you are suffering at this time and need some one else to help you take a step back and look at your trauma from the outside. It helps enormo...

Hello Lovelies! Today I'm sharing an article I debated sharing. It seems to cast this blog in a very "I'm a victim, you're a victim--we're all victims" light, and I hate that. However, this is something the Disabled face, and unlike other minorities and marginalized groups, there is no conversation around how to make people with disabilities feel more included in our society, let alone disabled minorities, and to say nothing of the concerns around the Pandemic. Myself, I have been isolating to the best of my ability for four months. Aside from receiving grocery deliveries (praise GOD) or the occasional UPS delivery--I have had to stay inside because I worry about how many people do not have symptoms of Covid-19 yet could still transmit it, and are not wearing a mask. They're everywhere:( Read the article below. It poses a heartbreaking question that until this moment in history, I don't think anyone has asked out loud. But it has always been real to u...

July 26th, Lovelies! That's the anniversary of the passing of the Americans with Disabilities act, and aren't WE excited?! We might still have a ways to go, but look how far we've come! That's what celebrating that day will be all about, and I for one could use all the celebrations I can possibly get in July. A group called Disability Unite, centered in New York, is having an online festival that day on Facebook, from 2pm-6 EDT. If you just go on Facebook and search "Disability Unite Festival",it'll take you right there! I can't wait; hope you love it!

I love every inch of Montana. Having visited and spent time there only sporadically, it has nevertheless touched my soul. The amazing mountains covered with a light dusting of snow the first time I'd come there were green and lush with Autumn the second time. I've gotten to know some of the amazing people who live there, although the second time I couldn't (as I had) ride into the same town I'd been to first. Train routes only go so far during the colder months, which is something I, as a city mouse from the urban Midwest, would never have thought of:) Sadly, I learned last week that Montanans are suffering through a spike in Covid cases, though their growth is mainly under control. Here's the link to my source: https://covidactnow.org/us/mt?s=54069 Given the dire prediction that they might be dealing with this virus' effects for YEARS to come, some of my intrepid Western-state's ingenuity has come to the fore in Missoula. I've never been to that city ...

Hello Lovelies! Included in today's entry is a very interesting article I found regarding the difference in opening the economy back up for the Disabled--their motivations and misgivings as far as the risks or rewards--versus how the Abled community feels about it--THEIR reasons for wanting to continue life the way it was as soon as possible, and not wait until the most immediate danger of Covid infection and spread has passed. Some of what is mentioned I have touched on before--the pitfalls of daily life for someone with any kind of physical disability, the inherent inconveniences and disadvantages therein. Personally, I enjoyed the article's frankness, and its attempt to bring the concerns of an increasingly unseen and unheard community to the fore. Before Covid-19, it was certainly ALREADY true that the Disabled community had to fight for a voice in an able world that did not what to see them--let alone hear their plight. This article brings readers' attention to the...

This is nice to see. Another grown woman born with Cerebral Palsy, making the most of her life, making "it look easy." But I promise you it's not easy. There's as much stigma following those of us with less-obvious physical disabilities as there is surrounding those whose physical disabilities shadow their every move. And we have the added difficulty of dealing with the ignorant people who refuse to accept that life, for us, is challenging too. "Miss You Can Do It" is a brilliant moniker, but being graced with it doesn't mean smooth sailing. You have to deal with people who say "I don't know if you're disabled or not"-- or who use the "big stall" in public restrooms while you sit on your walker seat with crossed legs and wait. You have to deal with people calling you "cross-eyed" because they don't have a ready label for your disability--and neither do you. There's no short answer to the challenges we face. ...

I missed yesterday's blogging day. My city (and my mind, my conscience, my soul) have been in utter tumult the last several days. I wouldn't have known what to say, how to formulate the words or articulate an opinion--on all that's been going on in this country, just yesterday. Given an extra 24 hours, I've come up with only the following image. It's a viral image that several of us (including myself) have chosen to update our profile pictures with, to draw attention to the crisis surrounding the Black Lives Matter movement. Honestly I'm almost nervous to post this entry; so much of what I've said lately has been brutally taken out of context and/or deliberately misinterpreted for personal gain. All I can say is that it makes my heart gladder when a larger company joins the fight, and not just all of my individual friends. If a respectable company makes "noise" like this, that makes both BLM and the company's focus of inclusion all that much ...

I came across this excellent article about the risks vs. the rewards of reopening the economy--as articulated through the unique perspective of the Disabled. The article says far more beautifully than I ever could how important it is to include the concerns of those more vulnerable to Covid in the discussion about reopening, bringing them to the fore for once:) I was nodding and "mmm-hmm"-ing all throughout; it rang many a familiar bell. Enjoy this (somewhat lengthy) read; listen to those who so very seldom get a voice: https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2020/05/14/disabled-people-have-unique-perspectives-on-risks-and-reopening/?fbclid=IwAR1kRJoeWZTmjtvgh5M6ceROvSeduqDWyiijioXzO9WZ2YkKzl5PxNHnpWI#6216c9f364a5

Happy Sunday, Lovelies! If you've "dropped in" on my blog for a while, you know how important God is to me. Well this morning an absolute gem of a song appeared in my Facebook feed, from an artist I've followed off and on (with varying intensity) throughout his career. https://youtu.be/iCbY-P1xttE

Happy Monday, Lovelies! Actually in terms of days of the week, I find Mondays among the hardest for me these days:( Can't get going, don't wanna get going! But then there are stories like the one below that restore my faith in humanity. Indeed, it was the thought of sharing it with all of you that finally GOT me going! All the way from the mysterious shores of Scotland--this pandemic disaster is bringing out the resourcefulness and kindness in people. Inspiring greatness where there once was only apathy or maybe just half-hearted concern toward people with very specific needs and very particular parameters. I know if it were within my power I would send over some Spaghetti Loops for Duncan! And hopefully make his mum's life just a little bit easier for a while:) That's what our FIRST priority should be in these strange, horrible times. Helping each other see the other side as comfortably and safely as possible--no matter who they are or what else they're dealing wi...

Hello Lovelies! Life is so strange right now. Nothing is "right-side up". Nothing is even "black and white" OR "right and wrong" any more. We can't judge by the same gauge that we used to any more because the whole of EVERYTHING has changed. There are shades of gray everywhere. And sometimes it does seem like those shades are closing in on us and blocking out the light. Myself I have to fight against the darkness nearly every day. But how did Gertrude Stein put it? "The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence." An antidote. Not a toxin. So drowning my despair in alcohol is not the answer. Forgetting my despair in a musty green cloud of marijuana smoke is not the answer. And injecting or swallowing mind-numbing medications to sedate all of my emotions into a vapid black hole is NOT the answer. You can't run from life forever. You can't miss your life trying to avoid it. Y...

I know a lot of them, and you probably know a lot of them too. In fact we'll ALL probably know a lot more of them before all is said and done--the intellectually disabled. The people that are just TOO easy for society to forget during this strange, dark time. But let me tell you; life is potentially MUCH darker for them. Just have a look at this article I found the moment I'd decided to turn in. There is a reason I found it, and a reason you should read it: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/04/covid19-coronavirus-intellectual-disabilities-loneliness/?fbclid=IwAR0zrA3rO8U-23HHQ3rDM2nPqMIfKTNA6Ulfeuj6kEJxDcWZ5mR_r0UJZdo

Good Morning, Lovelies! It won't be "morning" for very much longer, and honestly I was a little disappointed NOT to wake up to rain, which I was looking forward to. But at least it IS sunny! There's nothing wrong with sun. And the rain is still in the forecast; it's just been postponed. So let me sing the praises of another favorite institution I've heretofore taken for granted: The United States Postal Service and UPS. Man, I would be in such a STATE without them! Since the lockdown began, I have been getting a meal service delivered that accounts for a large part of my diet--I look forward to it eagerly every week! And I'm positive I'm not the only one. Previous methods of getting groceries and medicine have pretty much all failed me. Getting on a grocery delivery list takes all day if it happens at all, and it costs much more than it's really worth these days. So I've been exploring other options, and they are out there! A wide variety ...

I have the best friends!! My friend went out and got a long list of groceries for me today! She delivered them with her whole family, who guarded my groceries from curios passersby while I made a few trips up and down the elevator with my treasures. Now I am SO well-stocked for a while. I even have a couple of indulgences I just couldn't resist asking for, and it seems like it's just in time. The wind (very intense off and on lately) has picked up. Tonight there's a 90 percent chance of rain, and as the week progresses we could be in for some snow! And over the weekend, one really bad thing happened, followed by one truly happy thing! The constant seesaw between good and bad is what I've decided is the new normal. For everyone. And according to the experts on this Pandemic, things are only going to get worse. Of course they have been saying that for weeks, and there is the danger that people will just think "they're exaggerating" the way people often t...

And so it continues. Lockdown until forever. But it's becoming clearer and clearer that having no set limits on when to end Quarantine or when to return to normal is kind of the SMART way to go. There are after all no set limits on the length of COVID-19's infestation. I for one am more than happy to stay put for the time being. Although of course I'm feeling the same loneliness and restlessness we're ALL feeling, I'm willing to stay in to prevent the spread. The images my friends post of their kids, and the videos my family sends of my little cousins and nephew are all the motivation I need to isolate and create a future for them. At least that's the goal:) Yesterday was extremely hard, I'll be honest. Having to "attend" church on Easter through a TV screen onto a sanctuary I knew was empty but for the minister and liturgist and those playing the music...it hurt. But on the bright side, it was a wonderful service! And maybe in 20 years I...

Found a little something extra while scrolling! I'm the twin with CP in my case:) But I wouldn't have it otherwise.

One of the silver linings to the immense blackness of the cloud which is Lockdown is the things we learn because we're forced to confront ourselves. A new skill to combat boredom, a new language to understand world news better, relaxation techniques to reduce stress and anxiety, a new recipe for bread omitting the ingredients you don't have on hand! The list is endless and endlessly encouraging. Just yesterday, I learned something that both terrified AND emboldened me to learn more. I like to say "I bite bullets"--in other words I read the stuff that's difficult to hear, I watch the YouTube videos that "traumatize" me with their lack of a filter. It's better to know than not to know. Then you can be proactive about the added challenges you might face, which lifts your mood considerably! What I learned from a concerned friend who used to be in the medical field is that Cerebral Palsy patients have added difficulty breathing. Since the condition ...

Hello Lovelies! Mornings (although almost afternoon at this point) allow for optimism. The rest of the day hasn't intruded on my sense of fulfillment and well-being yet, so I'm feeling pretty good about things right now, though that could change. It frequently DOES, once the world has had a chance to get its hooks in you. But after 2 weeks in my apartment, only leaving to pick up packages (or deliveries from wonderful friends) right outside the door--I feel like I've gotten this Lockdown thing--on lock! I have a meal delivery service that has taken an enormous part of the grocery burden off the usual service I use. And I've been freezing a lot of those meals for the "lean months"--when I think there's a chance that all of us might have to really dig into our stores for food. We don't know WHAT'S gonna happen, do we? So I've decided I'd rather be prepared than not, even if things never get that dire. Not to mention, if this crisis h...