Broken Lives Matter

Good Afternoon, Lovelies! This is the day after an amazing birthday weekend. I hit a milestone in age, but a lady never reveals WHICH milestone:) So I'll just say I'm older than 10 and less than 100. You may draw your own conclusions. It's been a whirlwind; Friday in particular threatened to be completely devastating when I got stood up by my ride to Phlot for a spa day. Fortunately a neighbor saw my dilemma and rescued me, driving me there without a second thought. Thank Heaven for kind people; seriously. Where would we be without them? We'd be at the mercy of the unkind-minded majority, that's where:( And let me tell you, that would make life unbearable. Isn't it lovely when the Universe balances things out so nicely? And it's a very good thing I got to let loose this weekend and finally get over the stresses that have been plaguing me. Until Tuesday of last week, for the entire summer and a big chunk of the Autumn, I'd been without a washing machin...

Hello Lovelies! Okay, so I DID miss this week AND last week's blog installments. But it's been quite busy around here! After an odyssey of paying and waiting then paying and waiting some more--several times over the course of a long, hot summer of hand-washing--I FINALLY got a new laundry center! It fits into the spot for it (right next to the linen closet) absolutely perfectly. There's even a little room for the kitchen table leaf, which I was worried there wouldn't be:) Ah the joys of being almost 40:) You finally get to buy yourself a big, fancy present--but it's a major household appliance. I've made my peace with the unfairness of it; I'm happy to be the age I am and fully capable of handling stressful situations that drag on and on and ON! Needless to say, this past weekend was all about doing laundry, and I'm still working through it. But now I also have big baskets of beautiful, good-smelling, clean, fluffy laundry to put away as well as t...

Hello Lovelies! It's the last gasp of warm weather, and I've been so busy trying to get things done today (despite my overwhelming urge to procrastinate chores)--I completely forgot to get THIS done! Silly me. Speaking of chores, we're all having trouble with staying on top of those. There is so much support for the idea that they are futile and won't matter in the long run and WHY EVEN BOTHER??? This past week I have struggled with so much apathy and depression, I doubt I've been out of my comfiest, sleepiest clothes for more than half an hour at a time:( I've spoken to an older woman who is CLEARLY suffering from the same cabin fever/shut-in-fection, though she won't admit it. And it has gotten me to do some serious thinking. Seriously. Her comments to me, the way she phrased them, and the way she took our conversation down a dark path it did NOT need to go down, all belie that she is suffering intensely inside. The loneliness for her must be absolute...

Happy Monday, Lovelies! Okay; "happy" and "Monday" don't usually "play well together" in a sentence, I'll admit. But today I have a rare exception. The article below addresses the very thing I talked about about a year or two ago--how negatively the Disabled are presented in a world clearly not made for them. A world that would surely prefer them not seen and not heard. Well finally, they're getting seen, AND heard, AND the world is being more or less told to "get used to it." Rather than continue shooing us back behind closed doors. While this article does also include other minorities in its discussion of how the marginalized are being brought out of the margins and given true-to-life representation, it's definitely a start, making the Abled see the Disabled on toy store shelves, if not through well-attended marches just yet:) It made me smile and gave me reason to celebrate on this seconds-from-raining day (as if the approach...

...So you know how THIS day is going. It's a sopping-wet Monday requiring much, much fortification just to get through. Thank goodness I had espresso beans waiting to be opemed today. There's just nothing like their kick on a cold, sodden, unhealthy Monday morning I really want nothing more than to sleep through. As it is, Lovelies, I've pressed the snooze alarm on my radio multiple times, and woke up holding my cell phone; a sign that I'd turned IT'S offensive buzzer off in my sleep. After coffee there were the inevitable phone calls to various people rearranging my schedule. Do you ever feel like you're just scheduling things to RE-schdedule or cancel them? It's something I've dealt with on a heightened level for the past year and a half. ever since fears of an unseen enemy added an extra layer of caution and another reason to rethink going out. I would have thought nobody in their right mind would be out in the weather today, but I was wrong. As th...

Hello, Lovelies! I cannot believe it's been almost a year of silence on my end:( Honestly, I have wanted to write. But this past year has left me with both FAR too much, and absolutely nothing--to say. One change in my life that I will mention is that I adopted a wonderful senior cat, and we have left the ever-more-frightening downtown area. She loves me now! The reason for tonight's abrupt return is that my heart is far too heavy to keep things to myself anymore. Too many people have died. Not just people. WONDERFUL people. One of my best friends in the whole world, my would-have-been brother-in-law who ALWAYS called me his sister. The only two times I met him in California, he treated me like a queen and so did his family. Covid took HIM right at the beginning. I'm newly heartbroken every single day that I can't call him and tell him about something good or bad that happened. I can't hear his perspective or laugh at his laid-back take on the situation. And the...

Hello Lovelies! I went on my first "journey" in a while today. All the way to the library on their last day open before an indefinite re-shut down due to some spiky spikes of Coronavirus around here. Then I went to pick up my prescription, and let me tell you how the both went: The library was like a parody of itself. Like "The Twilight Zone" really, as an uncomfortable amount of things have been this year. There was a volunteer in front of the door asking me to state my purpose at the library--not in those words, but that's what it felt like, and he opened the door. Then once I got past that "check point" a member of the library staff greeted me (not unusual) and then I had to tell her why I was there (different than before). I'd only come to make some copies, and found out the machine wasn not even on the same level of the library as it had previously been! I was told to take the elevator up rather than down, which I had anticipated, which wa...

Good morning, Lovelies! Coming to you this morning with a renewed sense of hope--FINALLY--and cautious optimism that some semblance of the life I knew nine months ago will return. My world is opening up! Things I previously enjoyed which have been off limits- the library, the art museum, and cinemas- they're all back! I have places to go again, beyond just restaurants. And restaurants lately have been a little bit of a disappointment, with masks and social-distancing (while necessary) making it feel like Rod Sterling should preface my entry with: "Imagine if you will...". Life has so OFTEN felt like an episode of 1950's "Twilight Zone." So far I haven't been to the library to discover how it's new precautions have changed the atmosphere inside, but I'm grateful to have the option. And I'm hoping to go to the movies this week to see how that has changed OR stayed the same. Ironically, the last movie I saw (on New Year's Eve, to esca...

Hello Lovelies! This is what happens when I "try to be a normal person"--getting up early, completing multiple tasks throughout the day, eating a full and delightful dinner I made myself, then going to bed only AFTER forcing myself to clean up afterwards--I forget everything:) I forget my blog, and then oversleep the next day, becoming entirely discombobulated the next day and getting very little accomplished--except for the blog I'm adding to a day later than I wanted:) Years ago someone drew my attention to a meme about MS patients who "try to be a normal person" one day. The next frame was of the same MS patient asleep--"dead to the world"--on her bed, exhausted. From that I realized that all of us with physical challenges fight to "be normal" every day. While I know some incredible people who overcome said challenges with superhuman defiance every day to hold a laborious, steady job and contribute to the GDP--some of us aren't li...

Good Morning! I submit to you the brief biography of an impressive young swimmer from across the pond:) Just a happy little proud moment to start your week: https://www.facebook.com/disabilitynetworkwm/posts/3486020494794079

Morning Lovelies! I missed last week--my fault. I couldn't even tell you what it was that kept me away from my blog last Monday, but such is life these days. In fact, in talking with a friend of mine who DOESN'T have any challenges and hasn't been isolating, and with just about everyone I know really, there is one constant: the struggle to feel normal again. Days blending into each other, sleep schedules disrupted, trying to remember to eat right and stay active despite ALL that's going on--we're still yearning. At the end of the day, nothing is the same as it was. And although over the past week and ESPECIALLY with the return of school, things have begun to feel "sort of" like they used to--they're not. And we know that. The thing I struggle with the most is the feeling that even when we DO come out of this pandemic eventually, we should not go back to exactly the way things were. The problem with that mindset is that almost nobody shares it:( A...

Good morning, lovelies! This is going to be a very busy week for me; I have a lot of things planned/scheduled that have been on the agenda for weeks and weeks. The following got me thinking about "my agenda," which I rely so much on my phone for. I enter everything into my phone as little reminders throughout the day to keep me focused and help me get things done. What would I do if I couldn't flip open (yes I still have an "ancient" flip phone) my phone and read my plans for the day, or enter something new I didn't want to forget? What would I do if I couldn't read or write? There have been a lot of things I do as a matter of course (setting reminders on my phone for example) that have been portrayed by the Able community as kind of pathetic, and I have become more aware of it as I've grown older. Re-watching the late '80s-early '90s series "Unsolved Mysteries" has been a huge eye-opener. In his normal narration, the host regul...

Hello Lovelies! I've had my hands full taking care of Miss Papaya and making sure she has everything she needs all week--or two? Who can tell in Quarantine when time doesn't matter? But I've dug up a video I've been saving, about a very sweet little dog named Mork who looks very different. And he has a little friend who ALSO turns heads in a "curious" way. Rings a bell with me. And I bet lots of people have said unpleasant things about HER within earshot as well:( Their story reminded me not only a little bit of my own (same challenges as Mr. Mork--Hydrocephalus and IBS to name a couple), but also of Pappy--as I call her. Indeed, who DOES know how long she's got here, being already such a regal age? But like Mork's English "mum" said--you just hang on and live the life:) That's what I'm doing for her, and she's absolutely loving it. Bossing me around, but also loving me to bits. I've already gotten lots of little harmless...

Good Morning Lovelies! I completely forgot about blogging yesterday (my mistake), because my every thought has been consumed by a four-legged senior "queen" cat task master! Finally I have a reason to get up early and to stay on task throughout the day, which let me tell you has been particularly difficult during Quarantine, and the prevailing attitude seems to be a devastated "nothing matters anymore." With the arrival of Papaya everything feels a little bit more important, and I simply cannot sleep late or spend as many idle hours on my computer anymore. My little alarm clock snaps me out of it with her meow! And she LOVES to meow. The moment we met in person for the first time, when the shelter owners brought her to me, Papaya would not STOP meowing! I've gotten mostly used to it though, as one does with everything. We've all gotten used to life under this interminable Quarantine against our will after all. I know I certainly didn't want to ...

Hello Lovelies! Feeling a little down on myself for not adding to my blog as much as I should have lately. To make up for it, today I present you two, yes TWO articles for your enjoyment:) The fist is an enlightening look at our "dual pandemic" and how they both affect the Disabled community through a two-person interview on YouTube, belatedly also celebrating the anniversary of the ADA. The next is a print article bringing the issues addressed in the first article to a finer point with just one story. They're both interesting and informative, though the second is of course a little sad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub-5Kup6JW4&fbclid=IwAR3_FltZFT_s8rYnyn7H8f7FR6EUBL_5aWnslPJ7QQ_ElKY9IVTZp1Hmh24 The written article struck ME, first of all, because of how much "normalcy" is in the primary photo. A couple in love. It honestly doesn't look to me like there is one thing missing from this man's life. Certainly not enough to claim his quadraple...

Good Morning, Lovelies! Feeling very anxious today:( Just personal insecurities and worries about the future--amorphous, baseless, and with nowhere to rest:( I can't make myself "put it down." Anxiety rates around the country are extremely high, after all. And it makes me feel a little better to know I'm not alone. Indeed, with Quarantine/Lockdown forcing us all to distance ourselves and avoid each other and BE alone--any connection at all is a comfort. Adding fuel to my anxious fire this morning is that I found out I can't proceed with a pet adoption I'd been committed to since last week. So much for reducing my anxiety with a little fur ball:) I'll have to find some other way. I haven't entirely given up. As a result though, of course, my energy is drained. All my optimism has fizzled right out, and I'm just about ready to crawl back into bed. But of course I can't do that; there are still things I've been planning to do today. So...

I've avoided watching this video, which has been in my newsfeed for some time on Facebook. Today I finally made myself, and found it overwhelmingly satisfying from my perspective. We've all got things we're dealing with and many of us by this point have lost loved ones to Covid-19. This guy has taken steps in his own life to cultivate BOTH his physical and his mental health. When i lost my dad several years ago, of those in my household I was the only one who went to grief counseling, and I will never forget the lesson that taught me. We can't just "swallow" a loss, especially not of a family member. Otherwise it is very hard to move on. At the time I also buried myself in anything I could get my hands on about grief or grieving or overcoming loss. I particularly recommend C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed", if you are suffering at this time and need some one else to help you take a step back and look at your trauma from the outside. It helps enormo...

Hello Lovelies! Today I'm sharing an article I debated sharing. It seems to cast this blog in a very "I'm a victim, you're a victim--we're all victims" light, and I hate that. However, this is something the Disabled face, and unlike other minorities and marginalized groups, there is no conversation around how to make people with disabilities feel more included in our society, let alone disabled minorities, and to say nothing of the concerns around the Pandemic. Myself, I have been isolating to the best of my ability for four months. Aside from receiving grocery deliveries (praise GOD) or the occasional UPS delivery--I have had to stay inside because I worry about how many people do not have symptoms of Covid-19 yet could still transmit it, and are not wearing a mask. They're everywhere:( Read the article below. It poses a heartbreaking question that until this moment in history, I don't think anyone has asked out loud. But it has always been real to u...

July 26th, Lovelies! That's the anniversary of the passing of the Americans with Disabilities act, and aren't WE excited?! We might still have a ways to go, but look how far we've come! That's what celebrating that day will be all about, and I for one could use all the celebrations I can possibly get in July. A group called Disability Unite, centered in New York, is having an online festival that day on Facebook, from 2pm-6 EDT. If you just go on Facebook and search "Disability Unite Festival",it'll take you right there! I can't wait; hope you love it!

I love every inch of Montana. Having visited and spent time there only sporadically, it has nevertheless touched my soul. The amazing mountains covered with a light dusting of snow the first time I'd come there were green and lush with Autumn the second time. I've gotten to know some of the amazing people who live there, although the second time I couldn't (as I had) ride into the same town I'd been to first. Train routes only go so far during the colder months, which is something I, as a city mouse from the urban Midwest, would never have thought of:) Sadly, I learned last week that Montanans are suffering through a spike in Covid cases, though their growth is mainly under control. Here's the link to my source: https://covidactnow.org/us/mt?s=54069 Given the dire prediction that they might be dealing with this virus' effects for YEARS to come, some of my intrepid Western-state's ingenuity has come to the fore in Missoula. I've never been to that city ...