Broken Lives Matter

Hello Lovelies! The following popped up in my social network feed a few days ago, and I am obsessed. Not just because there are two beautiful actors and one is playing a woman with Parkinson's and Jake Gyllenhaal is playing a man who doesn't care. Not just because this scene is the kind of enounter I've dreamt of having, and conversation I've imagined my entire life. But because it addresses what many people in this world seem not to know: people with diabilities can love. And they can love impressively well. http://fb.watch/ky4wD-gxbA/ I know you lovelies don't have trouble imagining someone like me with a fully functional heart; I've shown you mine. You know they exist in others like me because one exisists in me. But with upsetting frequency, I've noticed that there are a lot of able-bodied people who seem to think that just because one part of you doesn't work right, NOTHING else does. And to be fair, after the loss of my beloved fiance Michael t...

Hello Lovelies! Sharing a bit of what inspires me today. I follow this man on Facebook; I found his simple message a heartwarming refresher. I think it's easy to forget how important it is that a child who is physically "different" not be treated differently. I certainly was:( And let let me tell you, I am STILLL struggling with the wounds that created on top of all the other wounds I suffered as a child who underwent multiple hospitalizations. Oh and, he's Ashton Kutcher's twin.

Hello Lovelies! I am inexusably tardy; my apologies. So much has/has not been going on, and depression/apathy are something I constantly combat. But today I have news!! News I absolutley had to share. Thanks to the generosity of a technically neuro a-typical friend of mine, I've been listening to an elderly version of the Amazon Echo for over a year, with gusto. Dancing in my kitchen, crying unabashed tears of Disney's "Encanto"'s "Dos Oruguitas" (Two Catarpillars), and indulging a fascination with true crime. My favorites being "My Favorite Murder" and "Mr. Ballin Podcast"--for any who might be curious. Today I've been taking a stroll from my normal choices, ending up in art history. I just asked Alexa to play an art history podcast, and "she" plucked the IDEAL podcast out of the void. "Art History for All" is ammazing. While I often have such a problem following podcasts, beause of the hosts' voices...

Hello Lovelies! Breaking my prolonged, depression-related silence to address a couple things. The prominence of Ableism in this country seems to be on an upswing, and as usual, NOT A WORD is being said about it. Once again, during this month of Pride in the LGBTQ+ community that is well-deserved and hard fought, to be certain, the Disabled community is just supposed to be grateful for what it has. I give you Travor Noah's description of a controversy over Lizzo's lyric change recently. Here's what happened intially, as reported by CNN: https://www.cnn.com/2022/06/14/entertainment/lizzo-grrrls-lyric/index.html That reporting, in my opinion, was the right kind. The bare bones, the facts, nothing opinionated or editorialized. They let you make up your own mind. The problem I see is in the following coverage, by Trevor Noah on his show "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, where granted they have a different rule book for reporting, and a lot of liberties were ta...

Alas, Lovelies, I don't think this is anything new. I would argue the news is scraping the barrel for stories with this particular article. I have ALWAYS felt left behind, being that I am immoble except on foot. And now I'm finding a lot of my friends in similarly vulnerable positions as mine--also feel as I do. Just some food for thought. You may think the world is passing you by, but things always look grim from the lense of your own struggles. I will definitely remember that, moving forward. Recently I spoke with a woman who was there with me on the night my late fiance was admitted to the hospital. We hadn't seen each other in years, and I don't think at this moment she remembered me, but I remembered her. She asked me a number of pointed questions about my capabilities, and in particular those about making decisions and/or plans for myself. I realized that from my perspective, I am limited in mobility. But AT LEAST I still had my wits about me. At least I can deci...

Well Lovelies, This unending trial of an extrovert's nightmare continues. My plans to finally see family fell through, because of the betrayal/oversight of another family member:( I won't get to see the twin sister I haven't seen in two years, or get to meet her fantastically beautiful little girl, nor get to hug my fabulous 4-year-old nephew OR my brother-in-law:( As I told my cat last night while my disappointment was still fresh and hadn't quite sunk in yet: "It's you and me kid." Today it's like I can't fully open my eyes, like they're puffy and red from crying--although to my knowledge that hasn't happened. It still feels like I have. Maybe I did it in my sleep. A friend of mine from closer to home has been emailing me periodically since this whole Pandemic jumped off, and he is similarly isolated by his own health concerns, even with the vaccine. It's very relateable, and I'm glad I have the sounding board. Recently he s...

Hello Lovelies! I don't have a lot of time, but I haven't posted this week. This little guy popped up on my feed; since he has a disability too (though he doesn't know it so don't tell him!) I thought he belonged here. Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen? I might change his name to Avalanche or Flurry at least--to give him a more imposing edge.

Good morning, Lovelies! This is the second day this week I've been up before the sun, which surprises even me. I am definitely more likely to be found staying up late then sleeping off my sleep debt far into the next day. So the next few days will be busy, and that's probably what's got me so keyed up. Nothing at all is negative or even unpleasant (although my first mammogram on Saturday--might be unpleasant if what I've heard of them is true); it's just busy. And I know that this early rising means I'll crash later. That's how it happened the other day, that's how it will happen again barring a miracle. But I'm looking forward to my busy-ness. For one thing, my Thanksgiving will be the antithesis of busy, so it seems only fair I should work it off until then. Along the same lines, I've been eating like a bird this month in preparation for the final, fantastic glut. For another thing, it's been a long time coming. In fact I've been m...

Hello Lovelies; I've missed our chats, I've been stressed to the hilt lately; the holiday season came up on me like a thief of joy in the night:( Halloween finally disappeared and then everything exploded in red and green glittter! Currently I'm dealing with so many things at home, related to my ignoring my domestic obligations for so long that they've piled up. Literally piled up. I have laundry all ove the house STILL, although the new laundry center has been working like a dream. The laundry in my basket is as high as it was prior to the laundry center's installation! Although this time, at least I know it's because I've been indulging in MORE clean sheets, clean clothes, and clean towels than I have in months. My mind is still collecting itself after I've spent the past three days fretting over whether or not a mortgage payment went through--awake all night worrying then asleep all day trying to forget my troubles. But today I resolved the issu...

Good Afternoon, Lovelies! This is the day after an amazing birthday weekend. I hit a milestone in age, but a lady never reveals WHICH milestone:) So I'll just say I'm older than 10 and less than 100. You may draw your own conclusions. It's been a whirlwind; Friday in particular threatened to be completely devastating when I got stood up by my ride to Phlot for a spa day. Fortunately a neighbor saw my dilemma and rescued me, driving me there without a second thought. Thank Heaven for kind people; seriously. Where would we be without them? We'd be at the mercy of the unkind-minded majority, that's where:( And let me tell you, that would make life unbearable. Isn't it lovely when the Universe balances things out so nicely? And it's a very good thing I got to let loose this weekend and finally get over the stresses that have been plaguing me. Until Tuesday of last week, for the entire summer and a big chunk of the Autumn, I'd been without a washing machin...

Hello Lovelies! Okay, so I DID miss this week AND last week's blog installments. But it's been quite busy around here! After an odyssey of paying and waiting then paying and waiting some more--several times over the course of a long, hot summer of hand-washing--I FINALLY got a new laundry center! It fits into the spot for it (right next to the linen closet) absolutely perfectly. There's even a little room for the kitchen table leaf, which I was worried there wouldn't be:) Ah the joys of being almost 40:) You finally get to buy yourself a big, fancy present--but it's a major household appliance. I've made my peace with the unfairness of it; I'm happy to be the age I am and fully capable of handling stressful situations that drag on and on and ON! Needless to say, this past weekend was all about doing laundry, and I'm still working through it. But now I also have big baskets of beautiful, good-smelling, clean, fluffy laundry to put away as well as t...

Hello Lovelies! It's the last gasp of warm weather, and I've been so busy trying to get things done today (despite my overwhelming urge to procrastinate chores)--I completely forgot to get THIS done! Silly me. Speaking of chores, we're all having trouble with staying on top of those. There is so much support for the idea that they are futile and won't matter in the long run and WHY EVEN BOTHER??? This past week I have struggled with so much apathy and depression, I doubt I've been out of my comfiest, sleepiest clothes for more than half an hour at a time:( I've spoken to an older woman who is CLEARLY suffering from the same cabin fever/shut-in-fection, though she won't admit it. And it has gotten me to do some serious thinking. Seriously. Her comments to me, the way she phrased them, and the way she took our conversation down a dark path it did NOT need to go down, all belie that she is suffering intensely inside. The loneliness for her must be absolute...

Happy Monday, Lovelies! Okay; "happy" and "Monday" don't usually "play well together" in a sentence, I'll admit. But today I have a rare exception. The article below addresses the very thing I talked about about a year or two ago--how negatively the Disabled are presented in a world clearly not made for them. A world that would surely prefer them not seen and not heard. Well finally, they're getting seen, AND heard, AND the world is being more or less told to "get used to it." Rather than continue shooing us back behind closed doors. While this article does also include other minorities in its discussion of how the marginalized are being brought out of the margins and given true-to-life representation, it's definitely a start, making the Abled see the Disabled on toy store shelves, if not through well-attended marches just yet:) It made me smile and gave me reason to celebrate on this seconds-from-raining day (as if the approach...

...So you know how THIS day is going. It's a sopping-wet Monday requiring much, much fortification just to get through. Thank goodness I had espresso beans waiting to be opemed today. There's just nothing like their kick on a cold, sodden, unhealthy Monday morning I really want nothing more than to sleep through. As it is, Lovelies, I've pressed the snooze alarm on my radio multiple times, and woke up holding my cell phone; a sign that I'd turned IT'S offensive buzzer off in my sleep. After coffee there were the inevitable phone calls to various people rearranging my schedule. Do you ever feel like you're just scheduling things to RE-schdedule or cancel them? It's something I've dealt with on a heightened level for the past year and a half. ever since fears of an unseen enemy added an extra layer of caution and another reason to rethink going out. I would have thought nobody in their right mind would be out in the weather today, but I was wrong. As th...

Hello, Lovelies! I cannot believe it's been almost a year of silence on my end:( Honestly, I have wanted to write. But this past year has left me with both FAR too much, and absolutely nothing--to say. One change in my life that I will mention is that I adopted a wonderful senior cat, and we have left the ever-more-frightening downtown area. She loves me now! The reason for tonight's abrupt return is that my heart is far too heavy to keep things to myself anymore. Too many people have died. Not just people. WONDERFUL people. One of my best friends in the whole world, my would-have-been brother-in-law who ALWAYS called me his sister. The only two times I met him in California, he treated me like a queen and so did his family. Covid took HIM right at the beginning. I'm newly heartbroken every single day that I can't call him and tell him about something good or bad that happened. I can't hear his perspective or laugh at his laid-back take on the situation. And the...

Hello Lovelies! I went on my first "journey" in a while today. All the way to the library on their last day open before an indefinite re-shut down due to some spiky spikes of Coronavirus around here. Then I went to pick up my prescription, and let me tell you how the both went: The library was like a parody of itself. Like "The Twilight Zone" really, as an uncomfortable amount of things have been this year. There was a volunteer in front of the door asking me to state my purpose at the library--not in those words, but that's what it felt like, and he opened the door. Then once I got past that "check point" a member of the library staff greeted me (not unusual) and then I had to tell her why I was there (different than before). I'd only come to make some copies, and found out the machine wasn not even on the same level of the library as it had previously been! I was told to take the elevator up rather than down, which I had anticipated, which wa...

Good morning, Lovelies! Coming to you this morning with a renewed sense of hope--FINALLY--and cautious optimism that some semblance of the life I knew nine months ago will return. My world is opening up! Things I previously enjoyed which have been off limits- the library, the art museum, and cinemas- they're all back! I have places to go again, beyond just restaurants. And restaurants lately have been a little bit of a disappointment, with masks and social-distancing (while necessary) making it feel like Rod Sterling should preface my entry with: "Imagine if you will...". Life has so OFTEN felt like an episode of 1950's "Twilight Zone." So far I haven't been to the library to discover how it's new precautions have changed the atmosphere inside, but I'm grateful to have the option. And I'm hoping to go to the movies this week to see how that has changed OR stayed the same. Ironically, the last movie I saw (on New Year's Eve, to esca...

Hello Lovelies! This is what happens when I "try to be a normal person"--getting up early, completing multiple tasks throughout the day, eating a full and delightful dinner I made myself, then going to bed only AFTER forcing myself to clean up afterwards--I forget everything:) I forget my blog, and then oversleep the next day, becoming entirely discombobulated the next day and getting very little accomplished--except for the blog I'm adding to a day later than I wanted:) Years ago someone drew my attention to a meme about MS patients who "try to be a normal person" one day. The next frame was of the same MS patient asleep--"dead to the world"--on her bed, exhausted. From that I realized that all of us with physical challenges fight to "be normal" every day. While I know some incredible people who overcome said challenges with superhuman defiance every day to hold a laborious, steady job and contribute to the GDP--some of us aren't li...

Good Morning! I submit to you the brief biography of an impressive young swimmer from across the pond:) Just a happy little proud moment to start your week: https://www.facebook.com/disabilitynetworkwm/posts/3486020494794079

Morning Lovelies! I missed last week--my fault. I couldn't even tell you what it was that kept me away from my blog last Monday, but such is life these days. In fact, in talking with a friend of mine who DOESN'T have any challenges and hasn't been isolating, and with just about everyone I know really, there is one constant: the struggle to feel normal again. Days blending into each other, sleep schedules disrupted, trying to remember to eat right and stay active despite ALL that's going on--we're still yearning. At the end of the day, nothing is the same as it was. And although over the past week and ESPECIALLY with the return of school, things have begun to feel "sort of" like they used to--they're not. And we know that. The thing I struggle with the most is the feeling that even when we DO come out of this pandemic eventually, we should not go back to exactly the way things were. The problem with that mindset is that almost nobody shares it:( A...