Cheers

Good morning! Last night was an interesting one for me; still processing, really. I spent a few lovely hours with some adults with Asberger's who really put life into perspective. I started going to their events, I thought, as a "volunteer" to help. But actually they helped ME, and it felt more like fun than an obligation. So that's what drew me to them last night. The rest of the "able" world so often acts like it revolves around them, like the things that concern them are the only ones that matter. But last night, I realized what an absolutely erroneous perception that is. The people I spent time with adults with a life-affecting, learning-and-function debilitating disorder--and surprise! Many of them seem to have their lives much more under control than a number of the "average" people I speak to. I'm not sure where that puts me in the scheme of things. I'd like to think I fall in with the Aspies (as one of the ladies calls her group of people), but I don't know. There are a lot of times when I feel like I'm just stumbling through life, with no real idea what I'm doing, and the distinct impression that I'm actually "doing it wrong"--whatever it is. On the other hand, if I look at my life objectively, I may not have EVERYTHING, but I have everything I need. I have some wonderful friends in a town I've sort of adopted that has sort of adopted me. I wake up every day in my own home with food in my fridge and things to do. Every day isn't perfect, but I can find the good in it. And maybe that's the real secret. The thing that some of these adults with Asberger's Syndrome have figured out; it's not what you have or even how much of it--but how grateful you are FOR it, and what you do with it--whatever "it" is. One of my biggest struggles has been to stay focused on my own life and not worry about outside pressures; I feel like last night has "reset" the goal, and recharged me to keep my mind on my own life without worrying about who I'm not impressing. In other words, to be grateful. I know I'm a disappointment to some people in my life. I haven't yet soared to the heights they believe me capable of reaching, which makes ME wonder...am I supposed to? Maybe the secret to my life, and the life of many with challenges similar to mine, is that it's not about putting on a spectacular show. It's not about dazzling on-lookers. It's about being who I am, using what I have, being grateful. And with that in mind, before too much of the morning coolness burns off, I need to head out to the world:) Cheers