We Survived the Fourth, We'll Keep on Surviving

Hope everyone had an enjoyable, safe Fourth of July! I did for sure. Got two see two good friends and make a few more:) Even saw a few fireworks, though I had the pleasure of experiencing some great ones TWO nights ago at one of those two friends' houses, so I really felt like I'd had all the fireworks I needed by late night of the 4th:) And here's a little thought. I had assumed it was just me; disability can be a lonely life sometimes. But I've always lamented (in my head) that no one can see a great outfit--or that they even bother to look twice once they see my walker. Talking to a new acquaintance on Facebook, I learned once again that I'm not alone. This woman is wheelchair bound, and she said she always feels bad that no one can see her "dope" outfits because she's sitting down! So it's NOT just me. Man, I could got to therapy for years without getting as much out of it as I have out of just scrolling my Facebook feed! Can you imagine how much that means to me? Like I said, disability is a lonely condition. But this blog sure makes me stand up straighter:) Thanks to everyone who's given me such positive feedback. Thanks to everyone who's given me INSPIRATION! Speaking of which, I refer back to the fashionista "sitting down." Not only is there the fact that going out looking eye-catching behind your mobility aids discouraging when discouraging because you think no one can see it, it makes you want to "hermit" because the effort of looking fabulous for very little return doesn't seem worth it. An example: there's a fundraising event coming up at my favorite modern arts museum, the Urban Institute for Contemporary Arts (https://www.uica.org/ they're awesome; check them out!); I went last year and had an amazing time. BUT, at least a little part of me is afraid no one will really see the outfit I've composed so carefully just for the occasion, and that they'll only see the walker jutting out in front of me like an oversized fanny pack, and no one will talk to me:( Even as I write that, I know I'll counter it. Alone at social events, I've learned to "turn my extrovert on", and approach people BEFORE they approach me. I think at the heart of it, this helps break down barriers we both think exist because of my disability, and let them know I AM approachable, and in fact there's nothing "wrong" with me. And then maybe they would start to notice the details of whatever I'm wearing, as we speak. So that's the advice I always give to disabled friends; just don't let your disability keep you from anything. To the sweet girl in the UK who couldn't get a free "ice lolly" 'cause she's too shy to go demand the world notice and respond to her, to the spunky lady in the wheelchair with great fashion sense--best thing is just to forget about it:) If you can. Chronic pain of course makes this difficult, I know. How can you ignore that? But if you DO treat the disability as a secondary issue and just start talking to people like it's not there, I find that they forget about it to! In fact, I've slowly begun to not even picture myself with a walker when I talk to people and look back on the conversation. I'm very conscious of my posture in those situations, and stand up as tall as possible behind the walker, so I 1) don't look infirm at all and 2) don't eventually become a stooped old lady with scoliosis 'cause I didn't think about long term damage to my spine when I could have prevented it. True, this acceptance doesn't ALWAYS happen. But after a while you get to where you can sense that a person isn't "getting" that you're you despite your disability. And then you're free to make up an excuse and move on! Stay lovely, my friends.